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Some people believe that parents should teach their children about money matters. What are the best ways to teach a child about money, in your opinion? Give some examples from your own experience. v.2

Some people believe that parents should teach their children about money matters. What are the best ways to teach a child about money, in your opinion? Give some examples from your own experience. v. 2
In today’s world, wealth has a prominent role in one’s life; therefore, some part of the society think that the offspring should be taught regarding money by parents. In the present essay, a few helpful methods in this endeavor are enlisted. First and foremost, parents should give their children monthly allowance to teach them how to manage money. If children receive their allowance on monthly basis, they learn to be thrifty and not to spend it all at once. For instance, I was never given money when I wanted to buy something, instead, I had to hold on to the sum that I had till it was necessary to spend it. Another beneficial way is to punish children for unnecessary expenditure, which teaches them how to spend their money wisely. Children should be taught that money should not be spent on extravagance. The best way is to discourage them with mild punishments such as cutting their play time or their access to some of their belongings. Last but not least, rewarding children with money when they have constructive behavior. When children are behaving in a helpful manner such as helping with the chores and running errands, they should be rewarded with money so they learn that money is earned by being responsible for completing tasks. Moreover, encouraging children to take on part-time job during school break is highly beneficial because they learn money is merited through hard work. All in all, there are a plethora of methods to teach children about money. Based on the explanation above, I believe the most beneficial ones are giving a monthly allowance, punishment for spending on unnecessary luxuries, reward them with money when they are helpful around the house and encouraging children to take on a part-time job.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, wealth has a prominent role in one’s life;
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the offspring should
be taught
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by parents. In the present essay, a few helpful methods in this endeavor
are enlisted
.

First
and foremost, parents should give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
monthly allowance to teach them how to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
receive their allowance on monthly basis, they learn to be thrifty and not to spend it all at once.
For instance
, I was never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something,
instead
, I had to hold on to the sum that I had till it was necessary to spend it.

Another beneficial way is to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for unnecessary expenditure, which teaches them how to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should
be taught
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should not
be spent
on extravagance. The best way is to discourage them with mild punishments such as cutting their play time or their access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their belongings.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when they have constructive behavior. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are behaving
Consider replacing "in a helpful manner" with the adverb for "helpful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a helpful manner
such as helping with the chores and running errands, they should
be rewarded
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they learn that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is earned
by being responsible for completing tasks.
Moreover
, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take on part-time job during school break is
highly
beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is merited
through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.

All in all, there are a plethora of methods to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Based on the explanation above, I believe the most beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are giving a monthly allowance, punishment for spending on unnecessary luxuries, reward them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when they are helpful around the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to take on a part-time job.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that parents should teach their children about money matters. What are the best ways to teach a child about money, in your opinion? Give some examples from your own experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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