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TPO28 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Parents today are more involved in their children s education than parents were in the past Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.2

TPO28 Parents today are more involved in their children s education than parents were in the past Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2
Today' s parents are totally different from the previous generation because they care more about their children’s life especially their education. In fact, as technology grows, they get to know more about the benefits of education and science for the development of the society. In this regard, I definitely agree with this statement that parents today are more sensitive and involved in their children' s education than before. To support my claim there are reasons stated as below. To begin with, parent' s now have academic education and some may have higher degrees in their field of study, so they are more curious about their children' s education comparing to the parents in the past. In fact, they own more social and practical experience which enables them to offer valuable suggestions. Take my parents for example, in contrast to their parents, my father is a university professor and my mother is a high school teacher, both of whom are perfectly knowledgeable about educational issues. They gave me realistic notions regarding my interests to choose the best college by analyzing the rank of the college as well as its reputation, location and so many useful things. Consequently, I made the best decision to select my college based on their help. In addition, in some cases parents have to interfere in their children' s educational decisions because the wrong decision may directly affect the financial status of the family. As most of the children are sponsored by their parents, they should inform their children about their economic situation, In other words, to what extend they can afford the expenses of their education, particularly when children want to pursue their education abroad. This would enable them not only to control the other expenses but also avoid their children getting stuck in bad conditions like being expelled because of not paying the tuition fees. In sum, parents today are more interested to help their children’s education than parents were in the past because they are more seasoned due to having academic education. Likewise, since they are responsible for their children' s expenses of education, they have to participate in their children’s educational decisions based on their affordability as well. This is why I posited a supportive assertion to this topic.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Today&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the previous generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they care more about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
life
especially
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In fact, as technology grows, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know more about the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and science for the development of the society. In this regard, I definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are more sensitive and involved in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. To support my claim there are reasons stated as below.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may have higher degrees in their field of study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are more curious about their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
comparing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the past. In fact, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
more social and practical experience which enables them to offer valuable suggestions. Take my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for example
,
in contrast
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, my father is a university professor and my mother is a high school teacher, both of whom are
perfectly
knowledgeable about educational issues. They gave me realistic notions regarding my interests to choose the best college by analyzing the rank of the college
as well
as its reputation, location and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful things.
Consequently
, I made the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
to select my college based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

In addition
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interfere in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
may
directly
affect the financial status of the family. As most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are sponsored
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they should inform their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about their economic situation,
In other words
, to what
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
they can afford the expenses of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
particularly
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
abroad. This would enable them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to control the other expenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
avoid their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
getting stuck in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
conditions like
being expelled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not paying the tuition fees.

In sum,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are more interested to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more seasoned due to having academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Likewise
, since they are responsible for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s expenses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
participate in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
based on their affordability
as well
. This is why I posited a supportive assertion to this topic.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO28 Parents today are more involved in their children s education than parents were in the past Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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