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Some people believe that parents should teach their children about money matters. What are the best ways to teach a child about money, in your opinion? Give some examples from your own experience. v.1

Some people believe that parents should teach their children about money matters. What are the best ways to teach a child about money, in your opinion? Give some examples from your own experience. v. 1
In a decade or two, the population has exploded in extreme bad way. Due to this, there is meagre space to live and construction of new houses is crucially needed. The only zone which is left out for making building at outskirt. Few individuals hold views to protect the countryside while others want to make living location outside the city. In my opinion, I agree with the latter said the statement. First and foremost, People remained in a scanty place to live as the population is increasing drastically. Houses are overcrowded and quality of living is decreasing very rapidly. So the only solution is making homes in the countryside. This is possible, even without damaging an agricultural land. For example, There is a colossal land which remain barren and not of much use for growing crops. Such areas can be overlooked and new building can be established. Secondly, it becomes senseless to preserve certain landmarks and not using it when we are so short of living space. Rural land definitely presents a heritage value of our ancestors, but the need of time is saving the populace and constructing homes away from cities. We can demarcate valuable properties and make new homes and also use space which is already dilapidated and renovate those places. For instance, In the village, There are houses where no one lives and people have mitigated to cities. These spaces can be used to make homes. To wrap up, the individuals will have opinions which will be opposed by many, but for me, constructing building at rural is absolutely alright, we live on this planet "Earth" and we have right to live freely in fresh Air, but we should not hamper the Environment in any way.
In a decade or two, the population has exploded in extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way. Due to this, there is
Possible spelling mistake. 'meagre' is British English.
meagre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and construction of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
is
crucially
needed. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
zone which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out for making building at outskirt. Few individuals hold views to protect the countryside while others want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
living location outside the city. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter said the statement.

First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
remained in a scanty place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
as the population is increasing
drastically
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Houses
are overcrowded
and quality of living is decreasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution is making homes in the countryside. This is possible, even without damaging an agricultural land.
For example
, There is a colossal land which remain barren and not of much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for growing crops. Such areas can
be overlooked
and new building can
be established
.

Secondly
, it becomes senseless to preserve certain landmarks and not using it when we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
short of living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. Rural land definitely presents a heritage value of our ancestors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the need of time is saving the populace and constructing homes away from cities. We can demarcate valuable properties and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new homes and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
which is already dilapidated and renovate those places.
For instance
, In the village, There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
where no one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have mitigated to cities. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
homes.

To wrap up, the individuals will have opinions which will
be opposed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for me, constructing building at rural is
absolutely
alright, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on this planet
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Earth
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and we have right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
freely
in fresh Air,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should not hamper the Environment in any way.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that parents should teach their children about money matters. What are the best ways to teach a child about money, in your opinion? Give some examples from your own experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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