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Agree or disagree? People can solve the most problems in their lives by themselves or with the help of their families; help from the government is often not necessary. v.2

Agree or disagree? People can solve the most problems in their lives by themselves or with the help of their families; help from the government is often not necessary. v. 2
Nowadays, government plays an very crucial role on people' s life. People often hold different opinions on whether people can solve the most problems by themselves or their family instead of the government or not. Based on my personal experience and own observation of life, I believe people need the help from the government to solve their problems and my reasons are as follow. To begin with, people have trouble finding a job and the help from the government is very essential for people. That is to say, the government can offer many ways to help citizens get employed successfully. For instance, when I was unemployed two years ago, I received a job training program invitation from Taiwanese government. The Taiwanese government provided many aspects of training courses help me with job interviews and I got a job just in two weeks. On the other hand, if I could only call my family for help, I wouldn' t find a job such fast. Secondly, people have many physical and mental problems, and the government plays an important role in the process to solve the problem. To further elaborate, the government can take many actions such as building up hospitals and therapy centers to help people with those problems. For example, in Taiwan, we have a National Health Insurance, which helps to lower the price of medicine and allow citizens to see doctors with affordable price. Therefore, the government is very important role to help us with problems. Last but not the least, adults have problem to earn money for supporting their lives and it' s very vital for governments to solve this problem together with habitants. To clarify that, people need to spend money on buying a house for family, paying taxes, and so on. And governments always help adults with financial issues. Take my cousin, Rachel, as an example. She got married last year, but she and her husband found it hard for them to buy a house for their living. At the same time, they noticed our government provided a housing fund and loan program especially for young couple. They applied for the program and got enough money to buy a house afterwards. For aforementioned reasons, I think governments are still important when people want to solve problems. Governments helps us when we are unemployed; governments assist us when we come across health issues; governments support us when we need more money.
Nowadays,
government
plays
an
very
crucial role on
people&
#039; s life.
People
often
hold
different
opinions on whether
people
can
solve
the most
problems
by themselves or their family
instead
of the
government
or not. Based on my personal experience and
own
observation of life, I believe
people
need the
help
from the
government
to
solve
their
problems
and my reasons are
as follow
.

To
begin
with,
people
have trouble finding a
job
and the
help
from the
government
is
very
essential for
people
.
That is
to say, the
government
can offer
many
ways to
help
citizens
get
employed
successfully
.
For instance
, when I
was unemployed
two years ago, I received a
job
training program invitation from Taiwanese
government
. The Taiwanese
government
provided
many
aspects of training courses
help
me with
job
interviews and I
got
a
job
just
in two weeks.
On the other hand
, if I could
only
call my family for
help
, I
wouldn&
#039; t find a
job
such
fast
.

Secondly
,
people
have
many
physical and mental
problems
, and the
government
plays an
important
role in the process to
solve
the
problem
. To
further
elaborate, the
government
can take
many
actions such as building up hospitals and therapy centers to
help
people
with those
problems
.
For example
, in Taiwan, we have a National Health Insurance, which
helps
to lower the price of medicine and
allow
citizens to
see
doctors with affordable price.
Therefore
, the
government
is
very
important
role to
help
us with problems.

Last
but
not the least, adults have
problem
to earn
money
for supporting their
lives
and
it&
#039; s
very
vital for
governments
to
solve
this
problem
together with habitants. To clarify that,
people
need to spend
money
on buying a
house
for family, paying taxes, and
so
on. And
governments
always
help
adults with financial issues. Take my cousin, Rachel, as an example. She
got
married last year,
but
she and her husband found it
hard
for them to
buy
a
house
for their living. At the same time, they noticed our
government
provided a housing fund and loan program
especially
for young couple. They applied for the program and
got
enough
money
to
buy
a
house
afterwards.

For aforementioned reasons, I
think
governments
are
still
important
when
people
want to
solve
problems
.
Governments
helps
us when we
are unemployed
;
governments
assist us when we
come
across health issues;
governments
support us when we need more
money
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Agree or disagree? People can solve the most problems in their lives by themselves or with the help of their families; help from the government is often not necessary. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
404 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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