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Agree or disagree? People can solve the most problems in their lives by themselves or with the help of their families; help from the government is often not necessary. v.2

Agree or disagree? People can solve the most problems in their lives by themselves or with the help of their families; help from the government is often not necessary. v. 2
Nowadays, government plays an very crucial role on people' s life. People often hold different opinions on whether people can solve the most problems by themselves or their family instead of the government or not. Based on my personal experience and own observation of life, I believe people need the help from the government to solve their problems and my reasons are as follow. To begin with, people have trouble finding a job and the help from the government is very essential for people. That is to say, the government can offer many ways to help citizens get employed successfully. For instance, when I was unemployed two years ago, I received a job training program invitation from Taiwanese government. The Taiwanese government provided many aspects of training courses help me with job interviews and I got a job just in two weeks. On the other hand, if I could only call my family for help, I wouldn' t find a job such fast. Secondly, people have many physical and mental problems, and the government plays an important role in the process to solve the problem. To further elaborate, the government can take many actions such as building up hospitals and therapy centers to help people with those problems. For example, in Taiwan, we have a National Health Insurance, which helps to lower the price of medicine and allow citizens to see doctors with affordable price. Therefore, the government is very important role to help us with problems. Last but not the least, adults have problem to earn money for supporting their lives and it' s very vital for governments to solve this problem together with habitants. To clarify that, people need to spend money on buying a house for family, paying taxes, and so on. And governments always help adults with financial issues. Take my cousin, Rachel, as an example. She got married last year, but she and her husband found it hard for them to buy a house for their living. At the same time, they noticed our government provided a housing fund and loan program especially for young couple. They applied for the program and got enough money to buy a house afterwards. For aforementioned reasons, I think governments are still important when people want to solve problems. Governments helps us when we are unemployed; governments assist us when we come across health issues; governments support us when we need more money.
Nowadays,
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government
plays
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial role on
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people&
#039; s life.
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People
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often
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions on whether
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people
can
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solve
the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by themselves or their family
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or not. Based on my personal experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
observation of life, I believe
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people
need the
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help
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
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solve
their
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problems
and my reasons are
Did you mean "as follows"?
as follow
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
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people
have trouble finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for
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people
.
That is
to say, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed
successfully
.
For instance
, when I
was unemployed
two years ago, I received a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
training program invitation from Taiwanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. The Taiwanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of training courses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
interviews and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in two weeks.
On the other hand
, if I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
call my family for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
wouldn&
#039; t find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.

Secondly
,
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people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the process to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. To
further
elaborate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
actions such as building up hospitals and therapy centers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For example
, in Taiwan, we have a National Health Insurance, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to lower the price of medicine and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
doctors with affordable price.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us with problems.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, adults have
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problem
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for supporting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
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it&
#039; s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
together with habitants. To clarify that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on buying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for family, paying taxes, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
adults with financial issues. Take my cousin, Rachel, as an example. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married last year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she and her husband found it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for their living. At the same time, they noticed our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provided a housing fund and loan program
especially
for young couple. They applied for the program and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
afterwards.

For aforementioned reasons, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us when we
are unemployed
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
assist us when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across health issues;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
support us when we need more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or disagree? People can solve the most problems in their lives by themselves or with the help of their families; help from the government is often not necessary. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
404 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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