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Some people believe that parents should give a small amount of money to their children to do home tasks while others believe that children should not be paid. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that parents should give a small amount of money to their children to do home tasks while others believe that children should not be paid. v. 2
One of the heavy burdens on the shoulder of parents is raising children who are well-adjusted in the society, away from all prevailing anamolities. Indeed, parents put their efforts so as to help their children to deal with trials and tribulations. Some people believe that parents should give a small amount of money to their children to do house' s tasks while others take a radically different view and allege that it is not necessarily needed to pay because it is their duty. However, the popular salient to which I vehemently cling is that if parents give their children some money, they might not be able to take the responsibility of their acts and grow maturely. The following paragraphs will aptly substantiate my personal stance. To commence with, there is no doubt that life has some difficulties and these difficulties could be sweet or painful as well, which accompany us in the whole life. Broadly speaking, parents should bend over backward and try to help their children to face many problems in their personal lives and handle them vigorously. In fact, it is incumbent upon children to do home tasks owing to the fact that it provides an opportunity for them to learn how to take the responsibility of their acts. As a tangible example, majorities of people who had been paid for such tasks during their children now are not capable enough to do their tasks successfully and pass the buck when confronting a problem. To elucidate more on this issue, do home tasks is the fundamental rule when it comes to maturity and nurturing children. Not only can these tasks help them to grow maturely but also can help them to become a self-sufficient person. Another salient point in corroborating my stance is that these tasks accompany children in the whole life, so, parents should make an effort to teach their children to do their tasks completely without being paid. If we take a minute to ponder over it, children should learn how to do a task. For instance, when a child is assigned to do a work, he should be careful to do his duty meticulously without doing something wrong. This attitude could help children to complete their duties carefully and successfully without being criticized. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that does home tasks without paying money play a consequential role in the children' s lives due to the fact that these tasks determine whether children could be successful or not. However, every coin has two sides. If parents give some money to their children because of home tasks, not only can they indirectly enhance children' s motivation to do the job but also can stir up children to do their jobs regularly without any problem. However, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal stance. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that parents should help their children to learn basic tasks like home tasks without paying a small amount of money. This could foster a sense of responsibility in children and dictate that these tasks are their duties.
One of the heavy burdens on the shoulder of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are well-adjusted in the society, away from all prevailing
Possible spelling mistake found.
anamolities
.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
put their efforts
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to deal with trials and tribulations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do
Possible spelling mistake found.
house&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
while others take a
radically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view and allege that it is not
necessarily
needed to pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
.
However
, the popular salient to which I
vehemently
cling is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they might not be able to take the responsibility of their acts and grow
maturely
. The following paragraphs will
aptly
substantiate my personal stance.

To commence with, there is no doubt that life has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties and these difficulties could be sweet or painful
as well
, which accompany us in the whole life.
Broadly
speaking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should bend over backward and try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and handle them
vigorously
. In fact, it is incumbent upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
owing to the fact that it provides an opportunity for them to learn how to take the responsibility of their acts. As a tangible example, majorities of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who had
been paid
for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are not capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
successfully
and pass the buck when confronting a problem. To elucidate more on this issue, do home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
is the fundamental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to maturity and nurturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to grow
maturely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to become a self-sufficient person.

Another salient point in corroborating my stance is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
accompany
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the whole life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
completely without
being paid
. If we take a minute to ponder over it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn how to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
.
For instance
, when a child
is assigned
to do a work, he should be careful to do his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
meticulously
without doing something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. This attitude could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
carefully
and
successfully
without
being criticized
. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that does home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
without paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
play a consequential role in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to the fact that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
determine whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could be successful or not.

However
, every coin has two sides. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can they
indirectly
enhance
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s motivation to do the job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can stir up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do their jobs
regularly
without any problem.
However
, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal stance.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
like home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
without paying a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This could foster a sense of responsibility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and dictate that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
are their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that parents should give a small amount of money to their children to do home tasks while others believe that children should not be paid. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
535 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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