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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Playing sports can teach people lessons about life v.2

Playing sports can teach people lessons about life v. 2
By and large, there is no doubt that playing a sport takes time and energy and despite critical role, it plays in people' s lives, it is necessarily needed to spend time playing owing to the fact that it improves memorization, repetition, learning and so forth. Various points of view which are germane to the matter being discussed brings us to the moot question as to whether playing a sport is helpful for individuals to learn about life or not. However, the popular salient to which I vehemently cling is that playing a sport can teach us how to live and how to cope with difficulties in today' s hectic city of life. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward some cogent reason to shed light on a number of issues in this framework. To commence with, playing a sport will provide an opportunity for people to learn various things like life, morality, aspirations, priorities, values and so forth. With playing a sport not only can people have fun but also can improve their personal lives. Broadly speaking, play a sport is the act of learning and can teach people how to cope with trials and tribulations. As a tangible example, in a soccer match players bend over backward and try their best to score a goal as the team. This exactly represents what people should do when they run into a huge problem and overwhelm by stress. Indeed, we could handle difficulties and resolve problems meticulously and precisely with the help of each other. The important lesson that we can learn from playing a sport as a team is that there would be no obstacle if people work together. To elucidate more on this issue, not only can we learn how to deal with problems as a team but also can learn that a success is consist of triumph and failures and there should be no despair. Another salient point in corroborating my stance is that playing a sport will teach us how to maintain healthily. If we take a minute to ponder over it, vast majorities of people do not know how to lead a healthy life. In fact, various diseases like heart disease, bronchial problem, diabetes, stress and so forth, are increasing at a very swift pace. Arguably, not only can playing a sport provide fertile ground for people to avoid unhealthy life but also can help people to remain healthy against various diseases. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that without playing sports hardly can human beings stay healthy. The startling fact which flabbergasted me is the fact that myriads of people are inclined toward the opinion that playing a sport has nothing to do with learning about life and is a sheer waste of time. However, every coin has two sides. Crowds of people play sports in order to have fun in their leisure time. As a matter of fact, experiences or knowledge might be much more important than playing a sport when it comes to learning about life. Experiences and knowledge can guarantee people' s success in the long run and contribute greatly to the people to learn about life. In the light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
By and large, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
takes time and energy and despite critical role, it plays in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it is
necessarily
needed to spend time
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going owing".
playing owing
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
memorization, repetition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Various
points of view which are germane to the matter
being discussed
brings us to the moot question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is helpful for individuals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or not.
However
, the popular salient to which I
vehemently
cling is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can teach us how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and how to cope with difficulties in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s hectic city of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cogent reason to shed light on a number of issues in this framework.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
will provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
things like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, morality, aspirations, priorities, values and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Broadly
speaking, play a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is the act of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how to cope with trials and tribulations. As a tangible example, in a soccer match players bend over backward and try their best to score a goal as the team. This exactly represents what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do when they run into a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and overwhelm by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Indeed
, we could handle difficulties and resolve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
meticulously
and
precisely
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of each other. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lesson that we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as a team is that there would be no obstacle if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work together. To elucidate more on this issue, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as a team
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
that a success is consist of triumph and failures and there should be no despair.

Another salient point in corroborating my stance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
will teach us how to maintain
healthily
. If we take a minute to ponder over it, vast majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know how to lead a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
diseases like heart disease, bronchial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, diabetes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth, are increasing at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
swift pace.
Arguably
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
provide fertile ground for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to remain healthy against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
diseases. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
hardly can human beings stay healthy. The startling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
which flabbergasted me is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
has nothing to do with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and is a sheer waste of time.

However
, every coin has two sides. Crowds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in order to have fun in their leisure time. As a matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, experiences or knowledge might be much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Experiences and knowledge can guarantee
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s success in the long run and contribute
greatly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about life.

In the light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
68Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Playing sports can teach people lessons about life v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
546 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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