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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To extent do you agree or disagree with this statement v.24

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To extent v. 24
Globally, people tend to live without extra pressure to find out any news and work in business sectors since they have more opportunities than before. It argues that whether we have a massive alternative or not. In my view, thanks to technological advances we have a lot of opportunities to do anything and its frame is expanding day by day. It's clear that the majority of people are living under the same conditions which equipped with all of necessity things to create any wanted items or destroy unwanted things by using kind of technological tools. For instance, one of the big delegates on it is a smart phone which given us unlimited opportunities to simplify our life routines. Apart from that, social applications such as Facebook, tender or LinkedIn, etc. , are highly beneficial to interact with others without barriers in terms of locations, financial background, and even ethic groups. However, we have seen a lot of advantageous sides of the high possibilities of this period, others believe that still, we are living in a sharply limited environment because of the following reasons. At first, we are not only limited to, use ecological sources from nature, but also living under a stressful life which has been created by high-tech compared to early life periods. According to official reports, the cancer is dominated through the developed countries because of harsh living conditions which are being destroyed by industrializations by humans. To conclude, even we could say we have a huge opportunity to live, however the artificial or highly developed conditions are being decreased chances which have already established in our life.
Globally,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without extra pressure to find out any news and work in business sectors since they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It argues that whether we have a massive alternative or not. In my view, thanks to technological advances we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to do anything and its frame is expanding day by day.

It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
under the same conditions which equipped with
Consider using "all necessity" or "all of the necessity".
all of necessity
things to create any wanted items or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
unwanted things by using kind of technological tools.
For instance
, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
delegates on it is a smart phone which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us unlimited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
to simplify our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
routines. Apart from that, social applications such as Facebook, tender or LinkedIn, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
are
highly
beneficial to interact with others without barriers in terms of locations, financial background, and even ethic groups.

However
, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantageous sides of the high possibilities of this period, others believe that
still
, we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
sharply
limited environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following reasons. At
first
, we are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited to,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
ecological sources from nature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
under a stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which has
been created
by high-tech compared to early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
periods. According to official reports, the cancer
is dominated
through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
conditions which are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
industrializations
by humans.

To conclude
, even we could say we have a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
however
the artificial or
highly
developed conditions are
being decreased
chances which have already established in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To extent v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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