Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that not all prisoners should be kept in prison, but some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community. Do you agree or not? v.1

Some people believe that not all prisoners should be kept in prison, but some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community. Do you agree or not? v. 1
Applying for a certain job in this modern era become more and more arduous due to the competition of the different organizations. Employers nowadays, consider formal academic qualification as a priority, rather than the qualities of the employees, while other commenters, still agree with the issue. The writer, strongly disagrees, with the latter view and the reasons will discuss below, followed by a conclusion. To start with, having a wide experience at work is more important that having a formal academic qualification, because there are numerous advantages or benefits. First, it does not need a numerous training to cope up with the job. Second, they already have a wide background, which they can apply to their next job. For instance, a newly hired manager, knows how to manage the employees because of her past experience. Furthermore, a positive attitude or personal qualities like hard working, diligent and cooperative are more likely to be considered too when it comes to job. Even though, they are not highly intellectual, but acquiring these desirable qualities it helps the company to become successful and strong. These attitudes can build a trust to the customers and to the organization, which it will lead to a successful work. For instance, a dedicated worker promoted well due to his hard work despite the fact the fact that he is not highly intelligent like others. To sum up, although a formal academic qualification is essential for the progress of a company, however, I believe that acquiring a desirable quality and life experience are considered to be a priority when it comes to a work.
Applying for a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in this modern era become more and more arduous due to the competition of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
organizations. Employers nowadays, consider formal academic qualification as a priority,
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
of the employees, while other
Possible spelling mistake found.
commenters
,
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the issue. The writer,
strongly
disagrees, with the latter view and the reasons will discuss below, followed by a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, having a wide experience at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that having a formal academic qualification,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are numerous advantages or benefits.
First
, it does not need a numerous training to cope up with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Second, they already have a wide background, which they can apply to their
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For instance
, a
newly
hired manager, knows how to manage the employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of her
Consider using "experience".
past experience
.

Furthermore
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude or personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
like
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
, diligent and cooperative are more likely to
be considered
too when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Even though
, they are not
highly
intellectual,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
acquiring these desirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to become successful and strong. These attitudes can build a trust to the customers and to the organization, which it will lead to a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
, a dedicated worker promoted well due to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
despite
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "the fact".
the fact the fact
that he is not
highly
intelligent like others.

To sum up, although a formal academic qualification is essential for the progress of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
however
, I believe that acquiring a desirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and life experience
are considered
to be a priority when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that not all prisoners should be kept in prison, but some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community. Do you agree or not? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts