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some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on the age and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views and give an opinion. v.3

some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on the age and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. v. 3
It is an indisputable fact that people work tirelessly to amass colossal sums of money to feed their family. However, most people believe that one should not be permitted to work after attaining sixty-five years, but others have also rallied for the assertion that age does not necessarily matter so far as jobs are concerned. In my opinion, no one of age sixty-six years and over, should be given the chance to operate in a business setting. On the one hand, the aged should not be entertained in the working field because their strength cannot match the job's demand. About hundred percent of occupations require maximum energy. This means that there would be the need for the fresh blood to take up such mantle. Though, it can be argued that this type of people might have adequate knowledge and experience to have their way through, but their health would not allow them to function effectively and efficiently. For example, the energetic young man can easily lift a thirty kilogram bag of items than anyone, who is over seventy years. Secondly, their inactivity and lack of vigour could lead to low level of productivity. Every company is working towards a common goal, that is, to maximize profit, and this would only be achieved if its employees can serve for barely six hours or more in a day, without losing strength. On the other hand, allowing people to discharge their duties disregarding their age might be helpful in some ways. First of all, the grownups could serve as role models to the upcoming young ones. For instance, a lot of businesses are booming nowadays, because they give the experienced and knowledgeable adults the opportunity to pass on their ideas to the youth, before gradually leaving the system. Also, their technical, communication, and leadership skills, punctuality, time management as well as humility, do the firm and its entourage a lot of good. In conclusion, I think people should be denied the right to function after having 65 years because the level of stamina left in them, cannot tally with the requirement of a cooperate entity.
It is an indisputable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work
tirelessly
to amass colossal sums of money to feed their family.
However
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that one should not
be permitted
to work after attaining sixty-five years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others have
also
rallied for the assertion that age does not
necessarily
matter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far as jobs
are concerned
. In my opinion, no one of age sixty-six years and over, should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance to operate in a business setting.

On the one hand, the aged should not
be entertained
in the working field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their strength cannot match the job's demand. About
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
percent of occupations require maximum energy. This means that there would be the need for the fresh blood to take up such mantle. Though, it can
be argued
that this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might have adequate knowledge and experience to have their way through,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their health would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to function
effectively
and
efficiently
.
For example
, the energetic young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can
easily
lift a thirty kilogram bag of items than anyone, who is over seventy years.
Secondly
, their inactivity and lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
vigour
could lead to low level of productivity. Every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is working towards a common goal,
that is
, to maximize profit, and this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be achieved
if its employees can serve for
barely
six hours or more in a day, without losing strength.

On the other hand
, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to discharge their duties disregarding their age might be helpful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the grownups could serve as role models to the upcoming young ones.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
businesses are booming nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they give the experienced and knowledgeable adults the opportunity to pass on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to the youth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
gradually
leaving the system.
Also
, their technical, communication, and leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, punctuality, time management
as well
as humility, do the firm and its entourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be denied
the right to function after having 65 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the level of stamina
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in them, cannot tally with the requirement of
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'cooperate' is correct. If 'cooperate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a cooperate
entity.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on the age and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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