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Question: some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on the age and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. v. 1

Although it is believed by some that everybody at the age of 65 is not permitted to be laboring, others consider that there should not be any age limit to people who are employed. In my opinion, while it is good that working age ought to be abolished since the jobs help them to keep fit physically and psychologically, I think retiring at 65 years would afford them time to rest and to pursue other dreams. On the one hand, continuing to work without age barrier would often guarantee the soundness of body and mind. In other words, when a person is used to working in a particular company say an engineer or a marketer, these jobs naturally demand moving u and down, from one location to the other, these movements keep these people fit and also emotionally healthy. But, if they are made to stop working, it could frequently pose as a threat to their health because they are not used to staying idle; hence, they would need to keep working. Also, the financial needs of these people might stand as another avenue as to why they have to have to continue with their jobs despite the age. On the other hand, some people including myself support the notion that retirement at the age of 65 is vital as it would give these people time for relaxation and also the chase after other ambitions. When a person starts working sometimes at an early age, he/she would have forfeited so many other aspirations in other to focus on the particular job. However, such persons deserve some free time away from those jobs so as to do fun things. For example, touring round the world, as well as going after other goals in life such as setting up a new business, or starting a charity organization. Furthermore, these people leaving their jobs at age 65 years gives room for employment of new people into civil service. In conclusion, even though allowing people to work without age restrictions seems beneficial for their health, I feel retiring at 65 years is crucial because of leisure, provides occasionally the establishment of new business and opportunity for absorption of new employees.

IELTS essay Question: some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on the age and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views and give an opinion. v.1

Although it
is believed
by
some
that everybody at the
age
of 65 is not permitted to be laboring, others consider that there should not be any
age
limit to
people
who
are employed
. In my opinion, while it is
good
that
working
age
ought to
be abolished
since the
jobs
help
them to
keep
fit
physically
and
psychologically
, I
think
retiring at 65 years would afford them time to rest and to pursue
other
dreams. On the one hand, continuing to work without
age
barrier would
often
guarantee the soundness of body and mind. In
other
words, when a person is
used
to
working
in a particular
company
say an engineer or a marketer, these
jobs
naturally
demand moving u and down, from one location to the
other
, these movements
keep
these
people
fit and
also
emotionally
healthy.
But
, if they
are made
to
stop
working
, it could
frequently
pose as a threat to their health
because
they are not
used
to staying idle;
hence
, they would need to
keep
working
.
Also
, the financial needs of these
people
might stand as another avenue as to why they
have to
have to
continue with their
jobs
despite the age. On the
other
hand,
some
people
including myself support the notion that retirement at the
age
of 65 is vital as it would give these
people
time for relaxation and
also
the chase after
other
ambitions. When a person
starts
working
sometimes
at an early
age
, he/she would have forfeited
so
many
other
aspirations in
other
to focus on the particular
job
.
However
, such persons deserve
some
free time away from those
jobs
so as to
do fun things.
For example
, touring round the world,
as well
as going after
other
goals in life such as setting up a
new
business, or starting a charity organization.
Furthermore
, these
people
leaving their
jobs
at
age
65 years gives room for employment of
new
people
into civil service.
In conclusion
,
even though
allowing
people
to work without
age
restrictions seems beneficial for their health, I feel retiring at 65 years is crucial
because
of leisure, provides
occasionally
the establishment of
new
business and opportunity for absorption of
new
employees.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
366 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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