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Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn't be a limitation on age and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your own opinion and include relevant examples. v.1

Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn't be a limitation on age and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. v. 1
With the rise in inflation and standard of living, many countries are planning to revise the age limit on retirement. There are different opinions around whether people beyond 65 should be permitted to work or not. This essay intends to analyse both perspectives before a conclusion is reached. For those who oppose people working beyond the age of 65 are of the opinion that, after an individual reaches the retirement age, the level of productivity and efficiency at work starts deteriorating because the mind and body gets worn out working continuously for several years. To add to the above, supporters of this group strictly believe that after the age of 65, people should give themselves time to rest and get actively involved in activities that they have always hoped to do such as travelling, spending time with their family and so on. For instance, my grandfather retired at the age of 60, because of which I was extremely fortunate to get his time, attention and create memories together as a child. Furthermore, old and experienced individuals pose a threat to young job seekers in the job market, and so when the old employees retire, it creates new job opportunities thus reducing the unemployment rate. On the other hand, there are some people who are of the view that, there should not be any age limit to work. Supporters of this group understand the harsh reality of life and realize that with the constant increase in the cost of living, it's impossible to sustain without any fixed income. Additionally, because these individuals have been working all their life, it becomes frustrating to sit at home aimlessly causing anxiety and depression. For instance, my father is 70 years of age and he continues to work, as the thought of idling away his time to glory kills him. Also, when employees continue to work beyond their retirement age, along with the employees, the employers also benefit as they don't have to go through the painful process of hiring and training a new employee thus, allowing them to cut costs. On analyzing both the sides, I personally believe that retiring should be a very personal choice. As long as an individual feels comfortable and his health permits them to work, they should carry on serving their company.
With the rise in inflation and standard of living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are planning to revise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit on retirement. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions around whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
beyond 65 should
be permitted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or not. This essay intends to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both perspectives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a conclusion
is reached
.

For those who oppose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working beyond the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 65 are of the opinion that, after an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
reaches the retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, the level of productivity and efficiency at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
deteriorating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the mind and body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
worn out working
continuously
for several years. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the above, supporters of this group
strictly
believe that after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 65,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should give themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to rest and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
actively
involved in activities that they have always hoped to do such as travelling, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
, my grandfather retired at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 60,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which I was
extremely
fortunate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, attention and create memories together as a child.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
pose a threat to young job seekers in the job market, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
retire, it creates new job opportunities
thus
reducing the unemployment rate.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are of the view that, there should not be any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Supporters of this group understand the harsh reality of life and realize that with the constant increase in the cost of living, it's impossible to sustain without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
income.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have been working all their life, it becomes frustrating to sit at home
aimlessly
causing anxiety and depression.
For instance
, my father is 70 years of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
he continues to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of idling away his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to glory kills him.
Also
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
beyond their retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, the employers
also
benefit as they don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go through the painful process of hiring and training a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
thus
, allowing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
costs.

On
Do not mix variants of the same word ('analyze' and 'analyse') within a single text.
analyzing
both the sides, I
personally
believe that retiring should be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
personal choice. As long as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
feels comfortable and his health permits them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they should carry on serving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn't be a limitation on age and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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