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Some people believe that newspaper is the best way to learn about news, while others believe that the more effective method is through other types ofmedia. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that newspaper is the best way to learn about news, while others believe that the more effective method is through other types ofmedia. v. 2
Many people are changing the way they receive information through the use of modern media. Meanwhile, traditionalists still maintain that the newspaper is the best method to receive news. In my opinion, I believe it is time for people to acknowledge the values that technologies is bringing to humankind. Admittedly, there are reasons why people are still rooting for the newspaper. Firstly, a newspaper would contain fewer distractions than other sources of information, such as smartphones or tablets. As a result, the focus of readers will solely be on the piece of news, enhancing their understanding and saving time. Secondly, having the newspaper delivered to your doorstep is also a way to ensure that you are updated about what is happening daily. This passive way of receiving information will create a habit of reading for news, rather than actively searching for news in media like TVs or smartphones, which is something we usually end up not doing. However, I still think that other medias are delivering information in a more efficient way than newspapers does. With the advancement of technology, it is not a rare sight to see young people reading from their smartphones. Many people have chosen to follow multiple newspapers on social media, expanding their scope of interest and customizing the type of information they want to receive. Receiving news from TVs is also good, as most public places nowadays have TVs attached on their walls with channels switched to news broadcast or informative documentaries all the time. This proves to be a more efficient way for people from all ages to catch up with the news. In conclusion, although learning about news via newspaper is still an alternative, I believe in this hectic society, people will find that receiving information through other media is more convenient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are changing the way they receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
media
. Meanwhile, traditionalists
still
maintain that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is the best method to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. In my opinion, I believe it is time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acknowledge the values
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
that


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
technologies
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
is
bringing to humankind.

Admittedly
, there are reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
rooting for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
.
Firstly
, a

newspaper would contain fewer distractions than other sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, such as

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
smartphones
or tablets.
As a result
, the focus of readers will
solely
be on the piece
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
news
, enhancing their understanding and saving time.
Secondly
, having the newspaper

delivered to your doorstep is
also
a way to ensure that you
are updated
about what is

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
happening
daily. This passive way of receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
will create a habit of reading
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
for


news,
rather
than
actively
searching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like TVs or smartphones, which is

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
something
we
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up not doing.

However
, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medias
are delivering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in a more efficient way

Did you mean "Then"?
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
does. With the advancement of technology, it is not a rare sight to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
see


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reading from their smartphones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have chosen to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
follow


multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, expanding their scope of interest and customizing

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they want to receive. Receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from TVs is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
as


most public places nowadays have TVs attached on their walls with channels switched to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
news
broadcast or informative documentaries all the time. This proves to be a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
more


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
efficient
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all ages to catch up with the news.

In conclusion
, although learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is
still
an alternative, I believe

in this hectic society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find that receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
more
convenient.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that newspaper is the best way to learn about news, while others believe that the more effective method is through other types ofmedia. v. 2

Essay
  American English
23 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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