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Some people believe that reading the newspaper is the best way to learn about news, while others believe that the more effective way is through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that reading the newspaper is the best way to learn about news, while others believe that the more effective way is through other media. v. 2
It is true that technology has changed our world and make people’s life convenient. Some traditional things are disappearing, newspapers are one of them. People are increasingly feel grateful for the convenience which brought by science and technology. After TV had been invented, one can choose watch TV to get informed of the latest news. People can only read with words and picture with newspapers. However with TV, audiences can enjoy sounds and moving images and therefore they are given more detail and accurate information. Nowadays, many youngsters like to surf on the internet to read news. The internet can deliver information even faster than TV, and it also easy to update the news if has some mistakes. Network can provide instantaneous information, saving the time of printing and publishing, so the readers can follow up the latest news. However, the advocators of newspaper believe that newspaper publish system has stricter censorship, which can ensure the authenticity of the report. Many people believe that they can get more reliable news from printed media than internet. Also, newspapers is the best choice for elder people who could not use computer as good as young people. Finally, some readers feel worried about reading fake news from internet, since anyone can distribute news on the internet without censorship. Overall, it is true that the influence of newspaper has decreased in human life. But I believe it will continuously exist, not in paper but on internet. Some newspapers have begun to open online mode. And it is a good choice for people to get reliable news.
It is true that technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life convenient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
traditional things are disappearing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are one of them.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
increasingly
feel grateful for the convenience which brought by science and technology. After TV had
been invented
, one can choose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
informed of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
read with words and picture with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
with TV, audiences can enjoy sounds and moving images and
therefore
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more detail and accurate information. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters like to surf on the internet to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. The internet can deliver information even faster than TV, and
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
also
easy to update the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
if has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistakes. Network can provide instantaneous information, saving the time of printing and publishing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the readers can follow up the latest news.

However
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
advocators
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
publish system has stricter censorship, which can ensure the authenticity of the report.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from printed media than internet.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is the best choice for elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
readers feel worried about reading fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from internet, since anyone can distribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the internet without censorship.

Overall
, it is true that the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
has decreased in human life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe it will
continuously
exist, not in paper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have begun to open online mode. And it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that reading the newspaper is the best way to learn about news, while others believe that the more effective way is through other media. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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