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EX6: It is the responsibility of schools to teach good behavior in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

EX6: It is the responsibility of schools to teach good behavior in addition to providing formal education. v. 2
At present, the responsibility of the school is one of the controversial issues. Some people consider that school has a charge of teaching students to become a moral value person as well as should add formal education in school better. In my opinion, I total agree with this ideal. It is clear that there are some reasons why the school should do that. Because environmental education has more influence for many aspects of students such as their thinking, their behavior, and their solve-problems due to school is also like the second house of them. Schools offer knowledge and skills as a tool to prepare for them more mature in the future. Therefore, most time of children spends to stay in school. They have environment learning while practicing together. Thanks to, they will grow up and raise their awareness of their behavior from teachers and classmate. Furthermore, school is only to help us mature person, owing to teaching and knowledge as well as the experience of all teachers. Thus, adding formal education which has more challenging for students to face up, it makes students stronger in the future. In conclusion, there are reasons as I mentioned above, I believe that it is an excellent combination of education and it will be better for students in the further.
At present, the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is one of the controversial issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has a charge of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become a moral value person
as well
as should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
better. In my opinion, I total
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this ideal.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should do that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has more influence for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
such as their thinking, their behavior, and their solve-problems due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
also
like the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
offer knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as a tool to prepare for them more mature in the future.
Therefore
, most time of children spends to stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. They have environment learning while practicing together. Thanks to, they will grow up and raise their awareness of their behavior from teachers and classmate.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us mature person, owing to teaching and knowledge
as well
as the experience of all teachers.
Thus
, adding formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which has more challenging for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to face up, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
stronger in the future.

In conclusion
, there are reasons as I mentioned above, I believe that it is an excellent combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and it will be better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
further
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay EX6: It is the responsibility of schools to teach good behavior in addition to providing formal education. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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