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A recent newspaper article report that a 14-year-old boy who seriously destroyed his school got a punishment to clean streets instead of sent to the prison, do you think this is right? Or the young criminals should be sent to jail. v.2

A recent newspaper article report that a 14-year-old boy who seriously destroyed his school got a punishment to clean streets instead of sent to the prison, do you think this is right? Or the young criminals should be sent to jail. v. 2
Discussing about the punishment of juvenile offenders is one of the controversial issues. Some people consider that juvenile offenders should have a chance to change by punishing to clean streets, while others think that juvenile delinquency should send to prisons. In my opinion, I would argue that young children should have different solutions to tackle this problems than spending them to jail. It is clear that there are so many reasons behind not spending juvenile offenders to prison like adults. In the beginning, they are immature people so that the local community has no right to judge them by catching them to jail. According to conduct research studies, the researcher thinks that most children have characterize and awareness from their parents and if their parents regulate a lack of connecting between parents along with their children that can cause lead to their bad behavior. Therefore, the local government should give them to have opportunities to start again and helping them have a door to become a good citizen. Furthermore, if they sent to prisons, they can easily effected from other criminal leading to these teenagers may become involved with gangs, although juvenile delinquency can become a person like criminals. Finally, their personality can lose job opportunities when they released. In conclusion, there is e all reason as I mentioned above, I believe that there are many solutions to tackle this problem than spending juvenile offenders to prisons to punish them.
Did you mean simply "Discussing the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
Discussing about the
punishment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
is one of the controversial issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
should have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
by punishing to clean streets, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
delinquency should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
. In my opinion, I would argue that young children should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
solutions to tackle
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems than spending them to jail.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind not spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
like adults. In the beginning, they are immature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the local community has no right to judge them by catching them to jail. According to conduct research studies, the researcher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that most children have
Use past participle here: "characterized".
characterize
and awareness from their parents and if their parents regulate a lack of connecting between parents along with their children that can cause lead to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior.
Therefore
, the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give them to have opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
again and helping them have a door to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen.

Furthermore
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
, they can
easily
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "effect"
effected
from other criminal leading to these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
may become involved with gangs, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
delinquency can become a person like criminals.
Finally
, their personality can lose job opportunities when they released.

In conclusion
, there is e all reason as I mentioned above, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions to tackle this problem than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
to punish them.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay A recent newspaper article report that a 14-year-old boy who seriously destroyed his school got a punishment to clean streets instead of sent to the prison, do you think this is right? Or the young criminals should be sent to jail. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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