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Some people believe that newspaper is the best source of news. Others think that the news is presented better on radio or television. v.2

Some people believe that newspaper is the best source of news. Others think that the news is presented better on radio or television. v. 2
Knowing and vigilance are human’s basic needs from old history until now. Nowadays, people know about their surrounding life from different sources. Some people like old habits and read newspapers to find out about recent events. However some others like to use more modern systems like televisions and radio or even social media for a better understanding of new events. I think that with human’s development its access to news dramatically altered. This incident is due to many reasons which made me support this idea. First, new tools of news transmission let people access to their environment news more easily. They can hear or watch new things faster in radio or TV in comparison with old-fashioned newspapers. They won’t need to wait for every other day’s morning to buy their newspaper to read recent news. Another important issue which we must consider is the news honesty. Normally, if you want to know about a specific matter, you would read about it in a newspaper page. However, people and mostly young generation find that radically wrong. Since, they believe that it just reflect the ideas of the page’s writer without letting the reader to know about it from any other aspect. Because of that newspapers popularity decrease gradually with people’s rising desire to watch TV or listen to radio. Also, participation of all people in broadcasting an incident is found to become more crucial these days. Newspapers lack the possibility for sharing of its follower’s ideas. In recent technologies like social Medias, you can read about any event as soon as it happens since it in this technology any person can be a reporter and send their news to a huge amount of people all around the world. This facilitates people’s access to new events without any prejudgment or delay. In conclusion, news broadcasting means change with development of human and their technologies. People understand that they can know deeply about everything without any obstruct. They can also participate in spreading of news which makes it far more different in our new world.
Knowing and vigilance are human’s basic needs from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
history until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about their surrounding life from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
habits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
to find out about recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more modern systems like televisions and radio or even social media for a better understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that with human’s development its access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
dramatically
altered. This incident is due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which made me support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tools of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
transmission
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
access to their environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
more
easily
. They can hear or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things faster in radio or TV
in comparison
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. They won’t need to wait for every other day’s morning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
recent news.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
honesty.
Normally
, if you want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about a specific matter, you would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
about it in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
page.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
mostly
young generation find that
radically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, they believe that it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
reflect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of the page’s writer without letting the reader to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about it from any other aspect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "newspapers'" or "newspaper's"?
newspapers
popularity decrease
gradually
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
rising desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV or listen to radio.

Also
, participation of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in broadcasting an incident
is found
to become more crucial these days.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Newspapers
lack the possibility for sharing of its follower’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. In recent technologies like social Medias, you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
about any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as it happens since it in this technology any person can be a reporter and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world. This facilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
without any prejudgment or delay.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
broadcasting means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
with development of human and their technologies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
understand that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
deeply
about everything without any obstruct. They can
also
participate in spreading of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people believe that newspaper is the best source of news. Others think that the news is presented better on radio or television. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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