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Some people believe that construction of new public building such as museums, town halls and sporting facilities is more important than renovation of the existing ones, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that construction of new public building such as museums, town halls and sporting facilities is more important than renovation of the existing ones, while others disagree. v. 2
It is often debated whether we should construct new museums, city-centres, and sports clubs or restore the contemporary ones. However, in my opinion, old historic buildings are county’s heritage and should be kept alive. On the one hand, some people agree that with the advancement in the field of technology, construction of modern buildings will produce less waste and use less energy. As a result it reduces our dependence on the natural resources. Furthermore, modern insulators maintain and regulate same temperature for longer durations. Rain and waste water could be purified in-house and utilized for non-drinking purposes, such as flushing the toilets. Solar and wind power plants could be used to generate electricity. In addition they also think that, these advantages of building new public centres will be more cost-efficient in the long run. Conversely, there are some people who believe that historic buildings should be preserved. I agree with this statement because these heritage buildings are the considered as a refine piece of art and give character to the cities. They also tell us about lifestyle and history of our ancestors. Also, some cities are recognised for their architectural symbols. For instance, Egypt is famous for its pyramids. In fact these attractions aid to generate revenue through tourism. Consequently, the government should invest in regular repairs and maintenance of such buildings. Moreover, new buildings should be designed to compliment them. In conclusion, although there is a need to conserve natural resources by constructing energy-efficient buildings, I believe historic buildings are our inheritance and should be valued.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated whether we should construct new museums,
Possible spelling mistake found.
city-centres
, and sports clubs or restore the contemporary ones.
However
, in my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are county’s heritage and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
alive.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that with the advancement in the field of technology, construction of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
will produce less waste and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less energy.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
our dependence on the natural resources.
Furthermore
, modern insulators maintain and regulate same temperature for longer durations. Rain and waste water could
be purified
in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and utilized for non-drinking purposes, such as flushing the toilets. Solar and wind power plants could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to generate electricity. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, they".
addition they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, these advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
new public
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
will be more cost-efficient in the long run.

Conversely
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be preserved
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are the considered as
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'refine' is correct. If 'refine' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a refine
piece of art and give character to the cities. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about lifestyle and history of our ancestors.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities are
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
for their architectural symbols.
For instance
, Egypt is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its pyramids. In fact these attractions aid to generate revenue through tourism.
Consequently
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in regular repairs and maintenance of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Moreover
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be designed
to compliment them.

In conclusion
, although there is a need to conserve natural resources by constructing energy-efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, I believe historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are our inheritance and should
be valued
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people believe that construction of new public building such as museums, town halls and sporting facilities is more important than renovation of the existing ones, while others disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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