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Some people believe that music is a way to bring people of different cultures and ages together. Do you agree or disagree. v.2

Undeniably, music plays a crucial role in our lives and eliminates distinctions and differences among various cultures and generations. It symbolises harmony and reflects humanity. I quite agree that music helps bring people from various cultures and generations together. One of the reasons music excretes the hurdles among different nations and cultures is that people enjoy music from every part of the world, and it speaks the same language, which embodies human emotion, joy, love and sorrow. Music does not need interpretation to be enjoyed and understood as it touches our heart and resonates in our mind. No matter what language we speak or understand, we appreciate the melody and depth of music which is why people of all ages can sit together and enjoy the same music. Moreover, nations influence each other with the type of music they produce and the type of musical instruments they use. This amalgamation reduces cultural differences and brings people from different cultures and ages to a common platform. For example, many music genres, that we enjoy these days, were derived from multiple nations and cultures and people from all these cultures enjoy and love them. Music is an art form which is enjoyed by all, and this helps reduce the generation and age gaps among people. For instance, when the national anthem is played, child, adults and elders all tune to the same emotion, which is patriotism, and their unity is stronger than ever. The same can be said when music evokes other emotions like love, sadness and so on. Besides, some music categories are loved by all, and the listeners feel a sense of togetherness in a divine way which is almost absent in other art forms. It not only eliminates age gaps but also the generation and cultural gaps. In conclusion, music, as a universally accepted and supreme art form, enriches our lives and strengthens the connections between us, regardless of our backgrounds, culture and age.
Undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a crucial role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and eliminates distinctions and differences among various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and generations. It
Possible spelling mistake. ‘symbolises’ is British English.
symbolises
harmony and reflects humanity. I quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and generations together.

One of the reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
excretes the hurdles among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from every part of the world, and it speaks the same language, which embodies human emotion, joy,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and sorrow.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
does not need interpretation to
be enjoyed
and understood as it touches our heart and resonates in our mind. No matter what language we speak or understand, we appreciate the melody and depth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
can sit together and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the same music.

Moreover
, nations influence each other with the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
they produce and the type of musical instruments they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. This amalgamation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
cultural differences and brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
to a common platform.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genres, that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
these days,
were derived
from multiple nations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
them.

Music is an art form which
is enjoyed
by all, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the generation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gaps among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, when the national anthem
is played
, child, adults and elders all tune to the same emotion, which is patriotism, and their unity is stronger than ever. The same can
be said
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
evokes other emotions like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, sadness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
categories are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
by all, and the listeners feel a sense of togetherness in a divine way which is almost absent in other art forms. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
eliminates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gaps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the generation and cultural gaps.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, as a
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
and supreme art form, enriches our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and strengthens the connections between us, regardless of our backgrounds,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that music is a good way to bringing people together of different cultures and ages.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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