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In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its naturalcondition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing andindustry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its naturalcondition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing andindustry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Infants are the a bless from god, and we have to bring them up in a perfect way. Some educators believe that they should spend their free time with education beside curriculum that they get at school. In my opinion, they ought to have fun with education because they can gain knowledge too from playing or watching cartoon movies and series such as Ben 10. In the following lines, through presentation of my perespective will be discussed below with given examples. To begin with, practicing sports activities can boost their fitness and makes them open minded. It also makes them sociable. For example, being in a team gives them the essential confidence to deal with friend and improves their teamwork skills. The Guardian has published a recent research that 70% of youngsters who practice sport from an early period of time become more successfull in their school. This instance, shows that lesiure time can be positive for them. In addition, if they learnt how to create since they are younger, that will give them a criterea to think differently. To illustrate, when the child learns how to draw or paint early, this can give him the sense of criticism. There is a survey conducted by Cairo University shows that about 75% of infants who have talents are more effective in society. Thus, this makes it clear that they must have other skills beside studying science and maths and other materials that they get at school. In conclusion, having presented the ideas above, it may be stated that it is a right for every infant to have time for passion and fun. I believe that they can become more creative and independent.
Infants are
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "a" is left.
the a
bless from god, and we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bring them up
Consider replacing "in a perfect way" with the adverb for "perfect"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a perfect way
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
educators believe that they should spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with education beside curriculum that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
at school. In my opinion, they ought to have fun with education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can gain knowledge too from playing or watching cartoon movies and series such as Ben 10. In the following lines, through presentation of my
Possible spelling mistake found.
perespective
will
be discussed
below with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, practicing sports activities can boost their fitness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open minded
. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them sociable.
For example
, being in a team gives them the essential confidence to deal with friend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. The Guardian has published a recent research that 70% of youngsters who practice sport from an early period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
become more
Possible spelling mistake found.
successfull
in their school. This instance,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
lesiure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for them.

In addition
, if they
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
how to create since they are younger, that will give them a
Possible spelling mistake found.
criterea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
. To illustrate, when the child learns how to draw or paint early, this can give him the sense of criticism. There is a survey conducted by Cairo University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that about 75% of infants who have talents are more effective in society.
Thus
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
beside studying science and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and other materials that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
at school.

In conclusion
, having presented the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
above, it may
be stated
that it is a right for every infant to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for passion and fun. I believe that they can become more creative and independent.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its naturalcondition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing andindustry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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