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Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are nor suitable for women. What is your opinion? v.5

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are nor suitable for women. What is your opinion? v. 5
Many believe that men are women are born differently and possess different abilities. Consequently, there are some jobs that should be done by men alone and some jobs that should be the domain of women. There are, however, many who disagree with previous system of thoughts and believe that men and women are created same; hence, both genders should be able do any job they want. There are obvious flaws in both system of thoughts. Nevertheless, I believe women should be able to do any job they want, provided that they meet the required criteria. First, we see women in almost every field, working toe-to-toe with men, and sometimes even outperform their male counterparts. For example, chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel, who has done remarkable job at handling many sketchy situations at national and international level. Many more examples like this can be given. Therefore, it is quite right to imply that women can do any job they want, should they choose to do it. However, we must accept the scientific fact that biologically men and women are different. Implication of this is that jobs where brute force or strength is more important are not well suited for women. For instance, working on an offshore oilrig. In this case, workers not only have to live far away on site in the ocean, but also possess certain physical fitness and strength to perform various tasks. In my opinion, when it comes to general population, both genders are equal intellectually and physically. There are many fitness regimes, which negate the biological differences in the gender. However, at the advanced level such as elite athletes, no matter how much you train, biological differences can be very clearly seen. At this level, women will lack behind their male counterpart. Finally, the issue whether men and women are equal is complex. Experts are debating over this for long time. Should the women choose to work in any field they want? The answer is resounding yes. If they have all required skillset, then there should not be any discrimination based on gender.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are born
differently
and possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
abilities.
Consequently
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that should
be done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
alone and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that should be the domain of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. There are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who disagree with previous system of thoughts and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are created
same;
hence
, both genders should be
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'do'.
able do
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
. There are obvious flaws in both system of thoughts.
Nevertheless
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be able to do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
, provided that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the required criteria.

First
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in almost every field, working toe-to-toe with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even outperform their male counterparts.
For example
, chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel, who has done remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at handling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sketchy situations at national and international level.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
more examples like this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
Therefore
, it is quite right to imply that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
, should they choose to do it.

However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
accept the scientific fact that
biologically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. Implication of this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where brute force or strength is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
are not well suited for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
For instance
, working on an offshore
Possible spelling mistake found.
oilrig
.
In this case
, workers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away on site in the ocean,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
possess certain physical fitness and strength to perform various tasks.

In my opinion, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to general population, both genders are equal
intellectually
and
physically
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fitness regimes, which negate the biological differences in the gender.
However
, at the advanced level such as elite athletes, no matter how much you train, biological differences can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. At this level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
will lack behind their male counterpart.

Finally
, the issue whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are equal is complex. Experts are debating over this for long time. Should the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
choose to work in any field they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
? The answer is resounding yes. If they have all required
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillset
, then there should not be any discrimination based on gender.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are nor suitable for women. What is your opinion? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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