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Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women What is your opinion v.1

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women What is your opinion v. 1
In contemporary life, gender discrimination seems to be regarded as a controversial problem in society. While many people suppose that both genders are equal and they can pursue any job they passionate about, others argue that it is necessary for females to withdraw in certain occupations on account of their lack of physical condition and their characteristics. From my perspective, I appreciate the equality between males and females and strongly believe disapprove of gender discrimination in the workplace. This essay will discuss the adverse effects if women are not allowed to do certain jobs. First and foremost, it is undeniable that both genders, albeit men or women, they also have a right to pursue their own career path as they are all human beings. To illustrate, if a man has such specific qualities as leadership, interpersonal skills or problem-solving skills, it is hard to say that women will not possess them. In this modern age, there are a number of outstanding role models who are considered as " weaker sides" , but they extremely excel at their position: Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama. Both of them constantly protest against gender discrimination and harassment at work and their touching stories seem to be prevalent throughout the world. Moreover, advocates of this view believe that the withdrawal of women in certain jobs may lead to a lack of productivity. Today labor market is facing a shortage of workers. As a matter of course, only men will not meet a huge of tasks and, as a result, the revenue of this company may face a run-down in an unprecedented speed. Therefore, any country where have a tension of banning women from certain jobs should make sure that they can solve the labor-related problems and the detrimental effects on economic aspects: poverty or even crime. In conclusion, I strongly support the view that there must not be gender discrimination existing in workplace because of the quality between males and females. Besides, what we need to do is speaking out and protesting against gender harassment in order to protect both genders.
In contemporary life, gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
seems to
be regarded
as a controversial problem in society. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suppose that both genders are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
equal and
they can pursue any job they passionate about, others argue that it is necessary for females to withdraw in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
occupations on account of their lack of physical condition and their characteristics. From my perspective, I appreciate the equality between males and females and
strongly
believe disapprove of gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
in the workplace. This essay will discuss the adverse effects if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
jobs.

First
and foremost, it is undeniable that both genders, albeit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, they
also
have a right to pursue their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career path as they are all human beings. To illustrate, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has such specific qualities as leadership, interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
will not possess them. In this modern age, there are a number of outstanding role models who
are considered
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; weaker
Possible spelling mistake found.
sides&quot
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
extremely
excel at their position: Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama. Both of them
constantly
protest against gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
and harassment at work and their touching stories seem to be prevalent throughout the world.

Moreover
, advocates of this view believe that the withdrawal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
jobs may lead to a lack of productivity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
labor market is facing a shortage of workers. As a matter
of course
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
The phrase 'a huge of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a huge of
tasks and,
as a result
, the revenue of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
may face a run-down in an unprecedented speed.
Therefore
, any country where have a tension of banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
jobs should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they can solve the labor-related problems and the detrimental effects on economic aspects: poverty or even crime.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
support the view that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
existing in workplace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the quality between males and females.
Besides
, what we need to do is speaking out and protesting against gender harassment in order to protect both genders.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women What is your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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