Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? "Children aged 15 and above should be allowed to vote". Use specific details and examples to show why you agree or disagree. v.646

"Children aged 15 and above should be allowed to vote". Use specific details and examples to show why you agree or disagree. v. 646
The world is rapidly changing based on technological advancements, increased moral depravity, and important decision making heuristics. It is commendable that adolescents have been allowed to partake in activities like driving. However, I disagree with allowing them to vote early because they are just too young to make adult decisions and we could make them force our hands into letting them do things only adults could do before. Children aged fifteen to eighteen are too young to understand the concepts needed to influence quality choices like tax-reform bills and immigration laws. Thus, politicians could play on this inexperience of theirs by making vague and vain promises just to win over these babies. For instance, a politician could promise more holidays or less tests just to sway votes to his side. These policies do not necessarily affect the country positively, however, the numbers could be in favor of such politicians. As a result, the more responsible and older voters could easily become less important and wrong policies could take center stage thus, potentially hurting a country more. Furthermore, allowing adolescents the opportunity to vote is encouraging them to push for other age-related prohibitory laws to be reviewed. To be more specific, if children can vote, they could push for the right to drink at such tender ages. I cannot imagine the devastating consequences this would have on a nation. At such young ages, children should focus on getting the right guidance and education instead of voting and asking for other society-destroying rights and privileges. Clearly, the demerits of encouraging early voting can be disastrous. As mentioned, our societies are getting more modern and sophisticated, however, it is better to keep the age-old tradition of restricting voting to adults as it is. Consequently, bad leaders would not be elected into power and other age-related prohibitions would not be removed for children.
The world is
rapidly
changing based on technological advancements, increased moral depravity, and
important
decision making
heuristics. It is commendable that adolescents have been
allowed
to partake in activities like driving.
However
, I disagree with allowing them to
vote
early
because
they are
just
too young to
make
adult
decisions and
we could
make
them force our hands into letting them do things
only
adults could do
before
.

Children aged fifteen to eighteen are too young to understand the concepts needed to influence quality choices like tax-reform bills and immigration laws.
Thus
, politicians could play on this inexperience of theirs by making vague and vain promises
just
to win over these babies.
For instance
, a politician could promise more holidays or
less
tests
just
to sway
votes
to his side. These policies do not
necessarily
affect the country
positively
,
however
, the numbers could be in favor of such politicians.
As a result
, the more responsible and older voters could
easily
become less
important
and
wrong
policies could take center stage
thus
,
potentially
hurting a country more.

Furthermore
, allowing adolescents the opportunity to
vote
is encouraging them to push for other age-related prohibitory laws to
be reviewed
. To be more specific, if children can
vote
, they could push for the right to drink at such tender ages. I cannot imagine the devastating consequences this would have on a nation. At such young ages, children should focus on getting the right guidance and education
instead
of voting and asking for other society-destroying rights and privileges.
Clearly
, the demerits of encouraging early voting can be disastrous.

As mentioned, our societies are getting more modern and sophisticated,
however
, it is better to
keep
the age-
old
tradition of restricting voting to adults as it is.
Consequently
,
bad
leaders would not
be elected
into power and other age-related prohibitions would not
be removed
for children.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay "Children aged 15 and above should be allowed to vote". Use specific details and examples to show why you agree or disagree. v. 646

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts