Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie stars but know very less about famous people from the history in their own country. Why is this? How can more interest be created in young people to gain more knowledge about their own famous people from history? v.1

Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie stars but know very less about famous people from the history in their own country. Why is this? How can more interest be created in young people to gain more knowledge about their own famous people from history? v. 1
It is irrefutable that today we are flooded with information about everything. The youth of today know about global celebs but are increasingly ill informed about their own historical personalities. This essay shall analyse why this is happening, and also suggest some measures, to generate their interest in historical events and people. The first and major reason for this is that the education system in most of the countries is test-based. Students are only taught to get good grades and as a result, they only focus on passing their exams, rather than gaining knowledge about any topic. Their interest is never developed in history and heroes of our past. On top of that, the youth today is more fascinated towards the celebrities because of the exposure and importance the media gives to them. Furthermore, most of the families have now started living in nuclear setups, where both the parents are working, and because of this the children’s education about their roots and history has taken a back seat. There are many methods that can be used by parents, schools and the media to develop the interest of youngsters in knowing about the famous people from history. The schools can incorporate technology in teaching methods, like the use of audio-visual aids. Educational trips to museums and famous historical places also help develop the children’s interest. The government should set up museums and encourage children to visit them by highly subsidizing tickets for the students. For example, the Shaheed Bhagat Singh Museum has become a great source of information about the freedom struggle and the sacrifices made by freedom fighters. Also, the Virasat-e-Khalsa museum has become very popular among the youth as they can learn a lot about Sikh history and culture. Moreover, TV shows and movies can be made around famous historical personalities and their contributions. For instance, the recent Bollywood movie Bajirao Mastani, has been a super hit at the box office and has made a lot of people more aware about historical events and characters. TV channels like History channel has shows which run throughout the day, giving information about famous people and events from history. To conclude, there are several innovative and creative methods that can be used to make the youth more interested and aware about the notable people from history. This effort has to be made by parents, at schools and media also has a big role to play in spreading this awareness.
It is irrefutable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we
are flooded
with information about everything. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
know about global celebs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
increasingly
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ill informed
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
personalities. This essay shall
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
why this is happening, and
also
suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures, to generate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The
first
and major reason for this is that the education system in most of the countries is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
-based. Students are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
taught to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades and
as a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on passing their exams,
rather
than gaining knowledge about any topic. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
is never developed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and heroes of our past.
On top of that
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is more fascinated towards the celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the exposure and importance the media gives to them.
Furthermore
, most of the families have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
living in nuclear setups, where both the parents are working, and
because of this
the children’s education about their roots and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
has taken a back seat.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by parents, schools and the media to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
of youngsters in knowing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. The schools can incorporate technology in teaching methods, like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of audio-visual aids. Educational trips to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop the children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should set up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and encourage children to visit them by
highly
subsidizing tickets for the students.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shaheed
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhagat
Singh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
has become a great source of information about the freedom struggle and the sacrifices made by freedom fighters.
Also
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Virasat-e-Khalsa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
as they can learn a lot about Sikh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and culture.
Moreover
, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and movies can
be made
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
personalities and their contributions.
For instance
, the recent Bollywood movie
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bajirao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mastani
, has been a super hit at the box office and has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more aware about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and characters. TV channels like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
channel has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which run throughout the day, giving information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
from history.

To conclude
, there are several innovative and creative methods that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
more interested and aware about the notable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. This effort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be made
by parents, at schools and media
also
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role to play in spreading this awareness.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie stars but know very less about famous people from the history in their own country. Why is this? How can more interest be created in young people to gain more knowledge about their own famous people from history? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
407 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts