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Some people believe that keeping a job that they choose in early careers would live a happier life than those who change jobs frequently, to what extent do you agree or disagree? With the inexorable development, enhancing job satisfaction is given a paramo v.1

Some people believe that keeping a job that they choose in early careers would live a happier life than those who change jobs frequently, With the inexorable development, enhancing job satisfaction is given a paramo v. 1
With the inexorable development, enhancing job satisfaction is given a paramount importance. Some are of the opinion that sticking with one job career can lead to a happier life than switching jobs frequently. Considering this situation, it is crucial to explore this from two perspectives. To begin with, there are several reasons why staying at one job work creates immense Happiness. To be precise, people choosing to work in one specific domain usually has a long-term goal. Therefore, they have sufficient time to build status and credential among their job fields, which has a better chance for them to promote senior job positions than external hires. As a result, if they reach that long-term goal, it will lead to enormous satisfaction and happiness. Besides, staying at one job help people to be familiar with all regulations, principles, and ethics, Which avoids them making unnecessary mistakes and ensures work productivity, thereby Keeping people feel fulfilled. Hence, sticking at one occasion has a significant contribution to a satisfied life. On the other hand, people changing job more often reach out satisfaction as well. To be specific, People building solid relation through different types of works are complementary to large, resourceful and easily accessible networks. Therefore, these colleagues can introduce better job opportunities, thereby people will feel more satisfied with their life. In conclusion, sticking with an unchanged job can provide great satisfaction to people. but, by no means, should we ignore happiness can also obtain through frequent job changes. Nevertheless, I strongly agree that staying at one type of job not only can help people progress to a better position but also help them have better performance in this job area.
With the inexorable development, enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a paramount importance.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the opinion that sticking with one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
career can lead to a happier life than switching

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
jobs
frequently
. Considering this situation, it is crucial to explore this from two perspectives.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons why staying at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
creates immense

Happiness. To be precise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in one specific domain
usually
has a long-term goal.
Therefore
, they have sufficient time to build status and credential among their job

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
fields
, which has a better chance for them to promote senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
positions than external hires. As

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
result, if they reach that long-term goal, it will lead to enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and happiness.

Besides
, staying at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be familiar with all regulations, principles, and ethics,

Which avoids them making unnecessary mistakes and ensures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
productivity, thereby

Keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel fulfilled.
Hence
, sticking at one occasion has a significant contribution to a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
satisfied
life.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reach out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
as well
. To be specific,

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
building solid relation through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of works are complementary to large,

resourceful and
easily
accessible networks.
Therefore
, these colleagues can introduce better job

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
opportunities
, thereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will feel more satisfied with their life.

In conclusion
, sticking with an unchanged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can provide great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
, by no

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
means
, should we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
happiness can
also
obtain through frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Nevertheless
,

I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that staying at one type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
progress to a better

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them have better performance in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
area.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that keeping a job that they choose in early careers would live a happier life than those who change jobs frequently, With the inexorable development, enhancing job satisfaction is given a paramo v. 1

Essay
  American English
19 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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