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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views. v.6

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. v. 6
The responsibility to look after the well-being is debatable. Some believe that the society should take care their own health, while others say that it is the authority's job to do so. This essay will discuss both views in details. To start with, people should have the mindset to look after their well-being by maintaining food intake, avoid hazardous materials and exercise daily. In 2015, for instance, researchers discovered that the German citizens generally live longer than the rest of the global population, due to their lifestyle habits. This is because of the fact that almost 95% of the citizens normally take a bike to work or school every morning, and that they always limit their meal intake between 1500 to 2500 calories per day. Therefore, every individual should be aware of their own body and take care their health carefully. On the other hand, the governments also play a huge role in encouraging the society to be healthy by providing public sport facilities, giving additional tax to junk-foods and raising awareness. According to 'The Economist', when comparing the obesity and illness levels between the two Australia main regions, the Sydney residents have the highest percentage of 75% compared to the 35% of Melbourne residents. This is due to the regulation in Melbourne that requires each area to provide more sport centres and to restrict fast-food chains. Hence, the government has the platform to persuade their society to take care of their well-being. To conclude, every individuals need to be aware of their own body by maintaining food intake and exercising on a daily basis, while the government should use their platform to encourage their citizens to be healthier.
The responsibility to look after the well-being is debatable.
Some
believe that the society should take care their
own
health, while others say that it is the authority's job to do
so
. This essay will discuss both views in
details
.

To
start
with,
people
should have the mindset to look after their well-being by maintaining food intake, avoid hazardous materials and exercise daily. In 2015,
for instance
, researchers discovered that the German citizens
generally
live
longer than the rest of the global population, due to their lifestyle habits. This is
because of the fact that
almost 95% of the citizens
normally
take a bike to work or school every morning, and that they always limit their meal intake
between 1500 to 2500
calories per day.
Therefore
, every individual should be aware of their
own
body and take care their health
carefully
.

On the other hand
, the
governments
also
play a huge role in encouraging the society to be healthy by providing public sport facilities, giving additional tax to junk-foods and raising awareness. According to 'The Economist', when comparing the obesity and illness levels between the two Australia main regions, the Sydney residents have the highest percentage of 75% compared to the 35% of Melbourne residents. This is due to the regulation in Melbourne that requires each area to provide more sport
centres
and to restrict
fast
-food chains.
Hence
, the
government
has the platform to persuade their society to take care of their well-being.

To conclude
, every
individuals
need to be aware of their
own
body by maintaining food intake and exercising on a daily basis, while the
government
should
use
their platform to encourage their citizens to be healthier.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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