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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. v. 2
Health and diet is the major concern among every individual, but there are some people who do not care about what their eating habits are. Many believe that governments should take steps towards the healthier life of their citizens, whereas some trust that its humankind who should know the way of maintaining their own health. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the arguments. Everyone has the freedom to choose their own living style. It’s completely up to the individual what they prefer eating food or when it comes to physical exercise. No one has rights to stop them. But, to live a healthier life an individual has to implement good eating habits. Furthermore, in this contemporary era, it is been noticed that there are many health issues in adults as well as children. It is due to low eating habits. It’s the parent’s responsibility to notice and give what good for their child. Avoiding foods like junk and sugary foods, which can harm their health. On the other hand, it is also a government onus to understand the importance of a healthier life. People who are often busy with their work-life end up having foods available in the market. The food there is having is not sure how healthier it is? So, the government should take immense responsibility, to have a proper check-in the food industries. Making sure the food supply should be genuine. And keeping the high tax on things like cigarettes and other tobacco’s available in the market. To enhance the situation, many health campaigns must be organized, to educated people. In conclusion, although it is individual’s responsibility to have an ultimate diet to lead a healthier life, governments also play a crucial role to maintain their citizens’ life, by regulating the food supply. Merely, by these two combinations, our national health can be immensely improved.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
and diet is the major concern among every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not care about what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits are.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should take steps towards the healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of their citizens, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trust that its humankind who should know the way of maintaining their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the arguments.

Everyone has the freedom to choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
living style. It’s completely up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
what they prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to physical exercise. No one has rights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
implement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits.
Furthermore
, in this contemporary era, it
is been
noticed that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues in adults
as well
as children. It is due to low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits. It’s the parent’s responsibility to notice and give what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their child. Avoiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like junk and sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, which can harm their health.

On the other hand
, it is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
onus to understand the importance of a healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
busy with their work-life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
available in the market. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
there is having is not sure how healthier it is?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take immense responsibility, to have a proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industries. Making sure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supply should be genuine. And keeping the high tax on things like cigarettes and other tobacco’s available in the market. To enhance the situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
campaigns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be organized
, to educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, although it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
responsibility to have an ultimate diet to lead a healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
also
play a crucial role to maintain their citizens’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, by regulating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supply.
Merely
, by these two combinations, our national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
can be
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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