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Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and violent crimes increases. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and violent crimes increases. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. v. 1
In recent years, there has been controversy over the issue of capital punishment, where some people may think capital punishment remains necessary to maintain low rates of violence and crime of society, but others do not. Regarding this problem, I completely agree with preserving the death penalty in order to offer citizens’ a safe and secure living environment as I will discuss further in the following essay. To start with, proponents of this issue agree maintaining capital punishment is crucial to preventing criminals from committing offences repeatedly and to help prevent people from living in fear of violent crime. There is growing evidence that the death penalty is essential to controlling violent behaviour and showing that crime is not tolerated. The evidence for this rationale is based on examples from several non-death-penalty countries which describes some people suffering attacks from strangers, such as shooting or stabbing, leading to death.  Therefore, in such cases, I deem that the death penalty should be maintained in order to protect people as well as stem public panic. Nevertheless, some critics try to abolish capital punishment, they may think crime rates are not reduced by the death penalty and that it does not deter the root causes of violent crime. Opponents are convinced that it is a form of revenge, which delivers a violent message and encourages people to solve this problem with violence.  I advocate the death penalty is necessary to prevent the crimes from happening again and to decrease the threat to others, because abolishing the death penalty does not do enough to address violent crime deterrence and public panic. To sum up, capital  punishment is a debatable problem with strong views on both sides. Taking prompt action can reduce crime and panic.
In recent years, there has been controversy over the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
remains necessary to maintain low rates of violence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
of society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others do not. Regarding this problem, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with preserving the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
in order to offer citizens’ a safe and secure living environment as I will discuss
further
in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, proponents of this issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is crucial to preventing criminals from committing
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
repeatedly
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from living in fear of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. There is growing evidence that the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is essential to controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and showing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is not tolerated. The evidence for this rationale
is based
on examples from several non-death-penalty countries which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering attacks from strangers, such as shooting or stabbing, leading to death.  
Therefore
, in such cases, I deem that the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
should
be maintained
in order to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as stem public panic.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critics try to abolish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
and that it does not deter the root causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
crime.

Opponents
are convinced
that it is a form of revenge, which delivers a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
message and encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to solve this problem with violence.  I advocate the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
from happening again and to decrease the threat to others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
abolishing the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
does not do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to address
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
deterrence and public panic.

To sum up, capital
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is a debatable problem with strong views on both sides.

Taking prompt action can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and panic.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and violent crimes increases. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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