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With the development of modern society is the loss of traditional ways of life. Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life? How can this be achieved? v.2

Nowadays, due to the progression of modernization in people's lives, most of the traditional ways of living are dying out. I consider that conventional ways of lifestyle should be preserved as it is beneficial for today's generation. This essay will support my view along with imparting initiatives to be taken to make it possible. Admittedly, it is important to save our ancestors' behaviour, as it is the only medium that connects the current generation with the past. The customs and traditions which they followed had prolonged scientific meaning to it, ranging from the clothes they wore to the food they ate. For example, young people can have knowledge about traditional home remedies their forefathers used to cure diseases and the type of organic products they preferred in daily routine. In addition, conserving our predecessors' teaching keeps the root culture alive while guiding for the improvement in the future as well as the present generation. Furthermore, in order to attain the benefits of our previous generations in positive ways, the government has to play a vital role. They could introduce the fundamental teaching of the traditional lifestyle of our ancestors on the school curriculum. Consequently, students are vulnerable and inherit such lessons very easily. Moreover, they can protect the heritage site and the old cultural building of the surrounding to inculcate the knowledge of traditional wealth among citizens. To illustrate, they can conduct awareness programs for promoting the old behaviour and its belongings among different sections of society. To conclude, it is essential for us to keep the cultural and conventional aspects of our past people in order to uplift and guide the current generation's standard of living. To achieve this, government authorities could make efforts at school level along with promoting the heritage of the old generation among various people.
Nowadays, due to the progression of modernization in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
ways of living are dying out. I consider that conventional ways of lifestyle should
be preserved
as it is beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation. This essay will support my view along with imparting initiatives to
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible.

Admittedly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to save our ancestors'
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
, as it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
medium that connects the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation with the past. The customs and traditions which they followed had prolonged scientific meaning to it, ranging from the clothes they wore to the food they ate.
For example
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
home remedies their forefathers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cure diseases and the type of organic products they preferred in daily routine.
In addition
, conserving our predecessors' teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the root culture alive while guiding for the improvement in the future
as well
as the present generation.

Furthermore
, in order to attain the benefits of our previous generations in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
play a vital role. They could introduce the fundamental teaching of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
lifestyle of our ancestors on the school curriculum.
Consequently
, students are vulnerable and inherit such lessons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
.
Moreover
, they can protect the heritage site and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
cultural building of the surrounding to inculcate the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
wealth among citizens. To illustrate, they can conduct awareness programs for promoting the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
and its belongings among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sections of society.

To conclude
, it is essential for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the cultural and conventional aspects of our past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in order to uplift and guide the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation's standard of living.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
To
achieve this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts at school level along with promoting the heritage of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation among various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay With the development of modern society is the loss of traditional ways of life Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life? How can this be achieved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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