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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.28

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 28
These days, some people seem to argue that it is the indispensable role of guardians to seek their kids the behavioural aspects of society. On the other hand, others are of the opinion that it is the duty of school staff to communicate with their students. In this essay, I will discuss both the views. First and foremost, there is no denying of the fact that parents play a beneficial role in children’s life. This is the first institution for the little kids from the beginning of their journey like a little baby start learning language from their guardians. They play a pivotal part in seeking their babies the ground realities of society and guide them to serve their society positively. However, the downside of this cannot be overlooked. Some candidates need a social culture and they are open minded from the initial period of their life. For instance, it has been noted that mostly guardians do not have enough time to spend with their children due to hectic routines of their professional life. Moreover, in America, both parents work for full time. Kids might get frustrated and stressed while staying alone. They might adopt wrong paths which directly harms the society. While, according to some school of thought, there is a prevalent belief of many people that students spend most of their time in schools. Instructors have the responsibility to guide students through proper channel about the social and cultural values of society. For example, it has been observed that teaching appears to be the most influential profession among all. Whereas, there is a dark side of the picture which advocates that schools are not ready to revise their curriculums. They only concentrate on science, commerce and arts. Furthermore, students might lack in professional development. They generally neglect the moral values of a society. In general, it is indeed a debatable issue which needs further analysis and discussion. However, in the light of the above arguments and examples, it would be quite safe to conclude that parents are generally the first source for educating their kids about the ethics of society which motivates them to respect their societies.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seem to argue that it is the indispensable role of guardians to seek their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
On the other hand
, others are of the opinion that it is the duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
staff to communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In this essay, I will discuss both the views.

First
and foremost, there is no denying of the fact that parents play a beneficial role in children’s life. This is the
first
institution for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
from the beginning of their journey like a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
baby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning language from their guardians. They play a pivotal part in seeking their babies the ground realities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and guide them to serve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
positively
.

However
, the downside of this cannot
be overlooked
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
candidates need a social
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culture and
they are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open minded
from the initial period of their life.
For instance
, it has
been noted
that
mostly
guardians do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to spend with their children due to hectic routines of their professional life.
Moreover
, in America, both parents work for full time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
frustrated and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
while staying alone. They might adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
paths which
directly
harms the society.

While, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, there is a prevalent belief of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend most of their time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Instructors have the responsibility to guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
through proper channel about the social and cultural values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, it has
been observed
that teaching appears to be the most influential profession among all.

“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, there is a dark side of the picture which advocates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are not ready to revise their curriculums. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concentrate on science, commerce and arts.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might lack in professional development. They
generally
neglect the moral values of a society.

In general
, it is
indeed
a debatable issue which needs
further
analysis and discussion.
However
, in the light of the above arguments and examples, it would be quite safe
to conclude
that parents are
generally
the
first
source for educating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
about the ethics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which motivates them to respect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 28

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
359 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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