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Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature and history of their own country, rather than the literature and history of other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature and history of their own country, rather than the literature and history of other countries. v. 1
It is said that children should learn literature and history of their nation rather than those of other nations. While learning their own nation's literature and history are mandatory in almost all countries, I believe that it can be an option to learn other countries' greatest books and historical events. On one hand, each country has its rich culture and evolution throughout a long period of time, from the day the ancestors finding land to set up a living, protect people and territory from enemies to building up a dependent and prosperous nation. All its events were captured by writing evidences in which literature and history were used. Therefore, by teaching children their own literature and history, children can enrich more knowledge about the culture, people and development of their country so that they can love and have great pride as well as passing through the generations in order to reserve literature and history. On the other hand, as the world became flatter than ever before, children have more opportunities to study or live in foreign countries. In order to adapt to the living, culture and people in a new country, one of the best ways is to learn via books and historical events of the country where they live. These also help children have more connections and more local friends. In conclusion, it is significantly important to let children learn literature and history of their country. It also has some helps where children can have opportunities to learn the same of foreign countries.
It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their nation
rather
than those of other nations. While learning their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
are mandatory in almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, I believe that it can be an option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
other countries' greatest books and historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

On one hand, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has its rich culture and evolution throughout a long period of time, from the day the ancestors finding land to set up a living, protect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and territory from enemies to building up a dependent and prosperous nation. All its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
were captured
by writing evidences in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Therefore
, by teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can enrich more knowledge about the culture,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and development of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and have great pride
as well
as passing through the generations in order to reserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and history.

On the other hand
, as the world became flatter than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more opportunities to study or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In order to adapt to the living, culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, one of the best ways is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
via books and historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. These
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more connections and more local friends.

In conclusion
, it is
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can have opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the same of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature and history of their own country, rather than the literature and history of other countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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