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Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.9

Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 9
There has been an argument about the educational factors that play a very important role in human development. Sending children to school at early age is being considered by many parents because it has a lot of benefits. However, it is true that there are a number of disadvantages with this. To begin with, experts say that young children learn things really fast. They are smart and always curious about many things, so it is easier for them to gain the knowledge from teachers when they attend school. For example, thanks to the high level of the modern technology today, teachers have several interesting ways to deliver their lessons to their students. Also, when participating in the educational activities in class, young children would be given a chance to build their social skills by meeting and making new friends of their ages. Another positive aspect to mention is that children who stay at home for a long time cannot learn to follow the school rules such as going to school on time or wearing school uniform. On the other hand, some people might think that children at the age of three to six are too young to deal with the stress from studying or taking exams at school. They should enjoy their childhood by spending quality time with their parents to have some fun. For instance, when playing a kind of sport, they can improve their physical health. In addition, activities like drawing pictures or solving puzzle games might help to have a better imagination and creativity To summarize, there are some difficult challenges when students begin their formal education during young ages. Nonetheless, as far as I am concerned, this could bring them more opportunities for their academic knowledge and social skills.
There has been an argument about the educational factors that play a
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in human development. Sending
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children
to
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school
at early
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age
is
being considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits.
However
, it is true that there are a number of disadvantages with this.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, experts say that
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn things
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. They are smart and always curious about
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many
things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is easier for them to gain the knowledge from teachers when they attend
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school
.
For example
, thanks to the high level of the modern technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, teachers have several interesting ways to deliver their lessons to their students.
Also
, when participating in the educational activities in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to build their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by meeting and making new friends of their
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ages
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect to mention is that
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children
who stay at home for a long time cannot learn to follow the
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school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
such as going to
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school
on time or wearing
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school
uniform.

On the other hand
,
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some
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people
might
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think
that
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children
at the
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age
of three to six are too
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young
to deal with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from studying or taking exams at
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school
. They should enjoy their childhood by spending quality time with their parents to have
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some
fun.
For instance
, when playing a kind of sport, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their physical health.
In addition
, activities like drawing pictures or solving puzzle games might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to have a better imagination and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
creativity


To summarize
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficult challenges when students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
their formal education during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. Nonetheless, as far as I
am concerned
, this could bring them more opportunities for their academic knowledge and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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