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Blood sports have became a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. Blood sports should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Blood sports have became a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. Blood sports should be banned. v. 2
In this world, everyone has right to live whether they are humanbeing or whether they are animals. In today’s era, blood sports has becoming the burning question. In this essay, I will analyse that why blood sports should be banned? To start with, if we spot a light on issue that how much animals are suffer due to the blood sports. Broadly speaking, we cannot imagine the things which are done with animals. The first and foremost, reason is that animals are forcefully trained by their trainers. This is a training in which trainers did not think about how much animal face a problem. They just kept one thing in their mind that they are converted the animal into the form of beast. Aside from this, the trainers are again doing reckless thing. Trainers forcefully participated their animals in the blood games by forgetting that the animals may have chane to die. Moreover, some animals are on the stage of extinction. So, these games may be make their species extinct. The best epitome is that, there had been a survey conducted by hindustan times in that survey they conclude that blood sports leads the extinction of species. No doubt, most of people think that these types of games are the source of entertainment. They spend lot of money for watching them but, also we cannot negligible the downside of this fun. The person forget that blood related sports can put great impact on their offspring. By watching these agressive games on daily routine their children may become more agressive. In the “nick of time”, this leads their behaviour on another level. Futhermore, that type of children cannot handle himself or herself. They always want to do fight with their parents as well as in society which they live. The outcome of this problem, is that these type of children are not easily to do focus on their study or on their future goals. With the passage of time, they cannot do proper study. By this the level of children decrease, and it will decrease continuously day by day. In the crux, animals are one of the beautiful creation of god. Well, i strongly believe that global government firstly, spread some awareness reagarding blood sports among all over the world, and also make some stringent law that these types of games should be banned.
In this world, everyone has right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
whether they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
humanbeing
or whether they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has becoming the burning question.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this essay, I will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be banned
?

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, if we spot a light on issue that how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
Consider using a past participle here: "suffered".
suffer
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Broadly
speaking, we cannot imagine the things which
are done
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. The
first
and foremost, reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
forcefully
trained by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainers
. This is a training in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainers
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
face a problem. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
one thing in their mind that they
are converted
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
into the form of beast. Aside from this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainers
are again doing reckless thing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Trainers
forcefully
participated their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
by forgetting that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
may have
Possible spelling mistake found.
chane
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are on the stage of extinction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their species extinct. The best epitome is that, there had been a survey conducted by
Possible spelling mistake found.
hindustan
times in that survey they conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
leads the extinction of species.

No doubt, most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are the source of entertainment. They spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
money for watching them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
also
we
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
cannot negligible
the downside of this fun. The person
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "forgets".
forget
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can put great impact on their offspring. By watching these
Possible spelling mistake found.
agressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on daily routine their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may become more
Possible spelling mistake found.
agressive
. In the “nick of time”, this leads their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
on another level.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot handle himself or herself. They always want to do fight with their parents
as well
as in society which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. The outcome of this problem, is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
easily
to do focus on their study or on their future goals. With the passage of time, they cannot do proper study. By this the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
decrease, and it will decrease
continuously
day by day.

In the crux,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
creation of god. Well,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe that global
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
firstly
, spread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
awareness
Possible spelling mistake found.
reagarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
among all over the world, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stringent law that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
should
be banned
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Blood sports have became a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. Blood sports should be banned. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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