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Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. v.7

Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. v. 7
Presently, most of the parents are joining their children at schools in very young age. Besides, certain people opine that the best way to join in the schools. However, others suggest that children's be encouraged to play in houses until they had experienced certain age-limit. In this essay, I will agree with the viewpoint on children should be sent to an educational institution in very young age and suggest my opinion. Interestingly, children are showing interest in going to the schools rather than staying at home. Indeed, parents were also interested to join their children because they were interested to join their children because they were dealing with their tight schedule in the jobs. Though the children had present in their residence, but they cannot spend ample amount of time with their parents and experience loneliness. A research stated that 90% of kids, who got admission in an educational institution, felt very happy in spending time with their classmates. On the other hand, children started recognizing most of the things very quickly. If the children were not allowed to experience the feeling of playing with other kids, they would miss a lot of things and could suffer to establish a good communication, when they grew up. So, one of the main reasons, why most of the people were taking the initiative in joining their children. For instance, a person can learn a lot of things in the nature when they were permitted to experience it. In conclusion, a likely reason why most of the people were actively sending their kids to the schools because they can enjoy the beauty of their childhood through learning. Moreover, it helps them in establishing a good communication with other students. Therefore, I believe that people can easily improve their memory if they were joined in the schools at an early age of their life.
Presently
, most of the parents are joining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.
Besides
, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
However
, others suggest that children's
be encouraged
to play in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
until they had experienced certain age-limit. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the viewpoint on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to an educational institution in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age and suggest my opinion.

Interestingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are showing interest in going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
rather
than staying at home.
Indeed
, parents were
also
interested to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
were interested
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were dealing with their tight schedule in the jobs. Though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had present in their residence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they cannot spend ample amount of time with their parents and experience loneliness.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
stated that 90% of kids, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
admission in an educational institution, felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy in spending time with their classmates.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
recognizing most of the things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to experience the feeling of playing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kids, they would miss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things and could suffer to establish a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication, when they grew up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, one of the main reasons, why most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were taking the initiative in joining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, a person can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things in the nature when they
were permitted
to experience it.

In conclusion
, a likely reason why most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
actively
sending their kids to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can enjoy the beauty of their childhood through learning.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in establishing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students.
Therefore
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their memory if they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
at an early age of their life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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