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Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v.1

Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 1
Some often argue to keep babies at home and engage themselves in gaming before 6/7 Ages while remaining community opine to send them to school very earlier. My writing Agrees that young children should be kept at home until 7 years old. This essay is going to Describe firstly, basic information comes from family as well as it is gained at an early age and secondly, it increases affection to family bondage. Family is the best primary school to teach their babies basic teaching. To illustrate, an early Aged child needs to have some basic life leading educations which are taught from family at Their younger age and this time are perfect to gain any discipline due to having sharper talent To understand anything. Babies unconsciously follow the lifestyles of their parents and often They are governed by many seniors in a family, this might not happen for other members As they are blood connected people. If they are sent to school before 7, they obviously get The touch of outer knowledge and practical lives, but it may lead them in wrong ways to. UN Reported that almost 20% Asian children pursue their adult lives roughly because of getting Fewer family touches at younger age. To increase strong ancestry, in contrast, investing more time with family especially at Younger period plays a key role. It means, when a baby plays with family members and pass Time with them, this automatically gives them the sense of strong bondage. He learns Manner and behaviours which offer him the practical affection to family and enhance love to His total ancestry. Moreover. Whatever is taught at younger period, these are set precisely in Brain and this influence children at mature lives. UK is a prime example where majority Under 18 Youngers are not taken care from family nicely and almost 50% older parents do Not get support from their offspring, but live from government support. To conclude, in spite of having numerous controversy, it seems to me that children should Stay home until they are 7/8 years old because it helps improving their fundamental Schooling and develops the brotherhood in a family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
at home and engage themselves in gaming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
6/7

Ages while remaining community opine to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
earlier. My
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
writing


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Agrees
that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
at home until 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. This essay is going
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Describe
firstly
, basic information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as well
as it
is gained
at an early age and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, it increases affection to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bondage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
is the best primary school to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
basic teaching. To illustrate, an
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
early


Aged child needs to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic life leading educations which
are taught
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
at

Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
age and this time are perfect to gain any discipline due to having sharper talent

To understand anything.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Babies
unconsciously
follow the lifestyles of their parents and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
often


They
are governed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
seniors in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, this might not happen for other members

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they are blood connected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. If they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
7, they
obviously
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
get


The touch of outer knowledge and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may lead them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
ways to. UN

Reported that almost 20% Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
pursue their adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
roughly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of getting

Fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
touches at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
age. To increase strong ancestry,
in contrast
, investing more time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
especially
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
at


Younger period plays a key role. It means, when a baby plays with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
pass


Time with them, this
automatically
gives them the sense of strong bondage. He
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
learns


Manner and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
which offer him the practical affection to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and enhance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to

His total ancestry.
Moreover
. Whatever
is taught
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
period, these
are set
precisely
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in


Brain and this influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. UK is a prime example where
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
majority


Under 18
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youngers
are not taken care from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
nicely
and almost 50% older parents do

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support from their offspring,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
support.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
having numerous controversy, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should

Stay home until they are 7/8 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to improve" or "improve".
improving
their fundamental

Schooling and develops the brotherhood in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 1

Essay
  American English
23 paragraphs
358 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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