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Many people think children should not be punished at early ages. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishment may be applied for children? v.1

Many people think children should not be punished at early ages. What sort of punishment may be applied for children? v. 1
There are lots of arguments about whether youngsters should be penalize or they should be taught without torture. Some say if they will be punished for some commitment, it will come across as a trauma in their life. However, others, myself included, argue that without suffering lessons cannot be learnt effectively. In this essay I will explain my idea and give some examples about what should be done as discipline. Having said that, children may commit any sort of crime which require some lessons to be taught. The reason behind the lesson that in their after life they will be punished for what they did and may suffer severely because of consequences such as monetary penalty or imprisonment. Take almost every prisoner for instance. If their childhood would be investigated, probably lack of family care might be understood, which is entail of not to punished them appropriately. Therefore, I strongly believe that penalizing children are extremely important since it may prevent them to pull off worse things in the future, not to mention possible price they will pay. Moreover, it is crucial that how to penalize them without cause any trauma since there are lots of people who had suffered during childhood because of the parents’ trial. First of all, the main goal should be the benefit of the young one and it should not be forgotten that they are not able to disguise which is good or bad. However, they should learn their differences at some point. Therefore, as a trial, the most valuable thing might be taken away from them such as the Internet, nowadays. Absence of very critical item would lead them to think what they have done and, in the future, when they remember that feeling, they would comprehend that something is going wrong. Another forfeiture might be cutting their pocket money off, for example. By doing that they, also, would think about possible consequences of their behaviour. To conclude, although youngsters may be taught as very naive to overcome any sanction, I totally believe that they should not be regarded as that way and should pay the prize of their doings by their pocket money or valuable things, which is mentioned above.
There are lots of arguments about whether youngsters should be
penalize or
they should
be taught
without torture.
Some
say if they will
be punished
for
some
commitment, it will
come
across as a trauma in their life.
However
, others, myself included, argue that without suffering lessons cannot be
learnt
effectively
. In this essay I will
explain
my
idea
and give
some
examples about what should
be done
as discipline.

Having said that, children may commit any sort of crime which require
some
lessons to
be taught
. The reason behind the lesson that in their after life they will
be punished
for what they did and may suffer
severely
because
of consequences such as monetary penalty or imprisonment. Take almost every prisoner
for instance
. If their childhood would
be investigated
,
probably
lack of family care might
be understood
, which is
entail
of not to punished them
appropriately
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that penalizing children are
extremely
important
since it may
prevent
them to pull off worse things in the future, not to mention possible price they will pay.

Moreover
, it is crucial that how to penalize them without cause any trauma since there are lots of
people
who had suffered during childhood
because
of the parents’ trial.
First of all
, the main goal should be the benefit of the young one and it should not
be forgotten
that they are not able to disguise which is
good
or
bad
.
However
, they should learn their differences at
some
point.
Therefore
, as a trial, the most valuable thing might
be taken
away from them such as the Internet, nowadays. Absence of
very
critical item would lead them to
think
what they have done and, in the future, when they remember that feeling, they would comprehend that something is going
wrong
. Another forfeiture might be cutting their pocket money off,
for example
. By doing that they,
also
, would
think
about possible consequences of their
behaviour
.

To conclude
, although youngsters may
be taught
as
very
naive to overcome any sanction, I
totally
believe that they should not
be regarded
as that way and should pay the prize of their doings by their pocket money or valuable things, which
is mentioned
above.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Many people think children should not be punished at early ages. What sort of punishment may be applied for children? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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