Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that it is good to do multiple jobs. while other believe that it is better to focus on one job. do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe that it is good to do multiple jobs. while other believe that it is better to focus on one job. v. 2
With the rise in modernization, a man has transformed his life tremendously. He has progressed from walking barefooted in the jungles to take first step on the moon. Money is the word discovery of human life. but, it is trusted material to trust human nature. Nevertheless, there are some issues which remains irrevocable and as complex as ever. For instance, the given topic asserts that is it better to do multiple jobs and is it good to focus on one job? Through this essay I shall explore the dimensions of this topic and shape up my opinion by the end. On one side, there is a group of people who believe that a multiple job is highly beneficial for everyone. They strengthen their view point by claiming that a teacher profession perform multiple jobs like as tutor, researcher and publisher. A good illustration of this is a tutor to teach for pupils in the institute. However, a learner provide tuition for students in the tuition centers. A teacher do that job to earned money. A teacher have highly beneficial for that jobs. A tutor acquire a plethora of knowledge. A teacher has been improved his skills and update development skills day by day. ' ' Dr. Abdul kalam " was famous scientist and vice president in India. so, that person had developed missiles technology in the world and achieved success in the life to performed by multiple jobs would be the perfect epitome. Contrary to this, there is an opposing group of people who believe that a focus on one job is prestigious in the individual' s zest to make their arguments convincing, they claim that in contemporary era, everyone is busy in the highly hectic schedule. so, that who attract on one job has plethora of benefits in the rabble life. A person was does one job, so that a rabble gains of buried experience and ethics values in the life. A person has been focus on one job that is best competitor of other person because that person has been some more values and acquires knowledge in the life. A lawyer has been focuses on wining the cases and achieving success in the life would be the perfect epitome. Nevertheless, weighing both the options, I believe that there is no single conclusion still, I take this ground that an effective clap requires both use of hands. Multiple jobs are better for everyone because, multiple jobs are sharpen development skills and knowledge.
With the rise in modernization, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has transformed his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
tremendously
. He has progressed from walking barefooted in the jungles to take
first
step on the moon. Money is the word discovery of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
, it
is trusted
material to trust human nature.
Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues which remains irrevocable and as complex as ever.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic asserts
that is
it better to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
? Through this essay I shall explore the dimensions of this topic and shape up my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On one side, there is a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
highly
beneficial for everyone. They strengthen their view point by claiming that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
profession perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like as tutor, researcher and publisher. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is a tutor to teach for pupils in the institute.
However
, a learner provide tuition for students in the tuition centers. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "does".
do
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to earned money. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
have
highly
beneficial for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
A
tutor
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "acquires".
acquire
a plethora of knowledge.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and update development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
day by day. ' ' Dr. Abdul
Possible spelling mistake found.
kalam
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
scientist and vice president in India.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
had developed missiles technology in the world and achieved success in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to performed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
would be the perfect epitome.

Contrary to this, there is an opposing group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that a focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is prestigious in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s zest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their arguments convincing, they claim that in contemporary era, everyone is busy in the
highly
hectic schedule.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, that who attract on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has plethora of benefits in the rabble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
was does one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that a rabble gains of buried experience and ethics values in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has been focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
competitor of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more values and acquires knowledge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
A
lawyer has been focuses on wining the cases and achieving success in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would be the perfect epitome.

Nevertheless
, weighing both the options, I believe that there is no single conclusion
still
, I take this ground that an effective clap requires both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of hands.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are better for everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
Consider using a past participle here: "sharpened".
sharpen
development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to do multiple jobs. while other believe that it is better to focus on one job. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts