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Some people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. v.2

Some people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones. v. 2
Whether new museums and town halls could be built instead of renovating the old ones has triggered a spirited debate amongst individuals. Some argue that they should be renovated, while others believe new ones must be established instead. First and foremost, new buildings must be established rather than improving the old museums and town halls. By so doing, the durability will be enhanced hence such buildings could last for the next decades. For instance, in Botswana, a town hall in a particular village, “Molepolole”, after continuous renovations over the years, collapsed following a heavy rainfall in 2015. Therefore, it is very clear that such structure was no longer capable of sustenance as it had been there for a longer time. As a consequence, valuables were destroyed, and the money which was spent on refurbishing the building had all gone to waste. In contrary, improving the old town halls and museums saves the state an exorbitant amount of money which could have been otherwise be used in setting up a new building. Erecting a new structure is expensive than refurbishing an old one. For example, it shall account for a new plan, as result experts should be engaged, new building materials, and a plot for setting up such a structure within. Moreover, renovation would save the land as the same land is used rather than seeking for a new a land may be used for other projects instead. In conclusion, it is worth noting that setting up new museums and town halls is beneficial in terms of saving the cost during harsh conditions as well as durability. However, I assert that renovating these buildings is the best option.
Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
halls
could
be built
instead
of renovating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
has triggered a spirited debate amongst individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that they should
be renovated
, while others believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be established
instead
.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be established
rather
than improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
halls
. By
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
doing, the durability will
be enhanced
hence
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
could last for the
next
decades.
For instance
, in Botswana, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hall
in a particular village, “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Molepolole
”, after continuous renovations over the years, collapsed following a heavy rainfall in 2015.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that such structure was no longer capable of sustenance as it had been there for a longer time. As a consequence, valuables were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
, and the money which
was spent
on refurbishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
had all gone to waste.

In contrary, improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
halls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
saves the state an exorbitant amount of money which could have been
otherwise
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in setting up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. Erecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
structure is
Use "(expensive)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
expensive
than refurbishing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
one.
For example
, it shall account for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
plan, as result experts should
be engaged
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
materials, and a plot for setting up such a structure within.
Moreover
, renovation would save the land as the same land is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
rather
than seeking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
a land may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other projects
instead
.

In conclusion
, it is worth noting that setting up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
halls
is beneficial in terms of saving the cost during harsh conditions
as well
as durability.
However
, I assert that renovating these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is the best option.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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