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Some international companies are very powerful now and many people believe that it is a negative development. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your reasons and relevant examples. v.2

Some international companies are very powerful now and many people believe that it is a negative development. Give your reasons and relevant examples. v. 2
Some people believe that due the fact that some businesses are in much power currently, it is a negative development. However, others oppose such a believe. To begin with, it is a negative development as some companies are very powerful now. There is a high chance for business monopoly. The more power a company has, the more business opportunities they want across the globe. Anglo American exemplify this precisely. It is an American company which invests in mining. It owns majority of shares in South African mines. Of recent, it seeks opportunities around African countries which has valueable minerals for mining. Due to the fact that it is powerfull and well established, it is winning trust of most mines in this African countries. As a result, it denies the newly developed companies avenues of investments. This therefore, enriches the rich and powerfull businesses, subjecting the unfamous ones to poverty. In addition, international companies which posses more power degrades the environment more. For instance, they buy large land in foreighn countries to set up their firms. This large land should be cleared to create space for a building. Deforestrating the land causes plant species to extinct. It is therefore not worth the doubt that these companies brings negativity overall. In contrary, it is not a negative development for international companies to posess more power. They create more employment. They create more employment rather, in foreighn countries. For example, coca cola is one the dominating international companies across Africa. As a result, it has created more employment to Africans. Consequently, the economy in such countries is promoted Thus, this elucidates that international companies possesing much power is not a positive development after all. In conclusion, wether international companies which are powerfull is a negative development has trigered a debate amongst individuals. However, I assert that it is negative to some extent but positive in some ways.
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Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that due the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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businesses
are in much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
currently
, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
However
, others oppose such a
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powerful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. There is a high chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
monopoly. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
opportunities they want across the globe. Anglo American exemplify this
precisely
. It is an American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
which invests in mining. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
shares in South African mines. Of recent, it seeks opportunities around African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which has
Possible spelling mistake found.
valueable
minerals for mining. Due to the fact that it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
powerfull
and well established, it is winning trust of most mines in this African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
As a result
, it denies the
newly
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
avenues of investments. This
therefore
, enriches the rich and
Possible spelling mistake found.
powerfull
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
, subjecting the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfamous
ones to poverty.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which posses more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
degrades the environment more.
For instance
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
large land in
Possible spelling mistake found.
foreighn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to set up their firms. This large land should
be cleared
to create space for a building.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Deforestrating
the land causes plant species to extinct. It is
therefore
not worth the doubt that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
brings negativity
overall
.

In contrary, it is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
posess
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
. They create more employment. They create more employment
rather
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
foreighn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, coca cola is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the dominating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
across Africa.
As a result
, it has created more employment to Africans.
Consequently
, the economy in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is promoted
Thus
, this elucidates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
Possible spelling mistake found.
possesing
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
after all
.

In conclusion
,
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wether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
powerfull
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
has
Possible spelling mistake found.
trigered
a debate amongst individuals.
However
, I assert that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay Some international companies are very powerful now and many people believe that it is a negative development. Give your reasons and relevant examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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