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Some people believe that it is better for first year students to live with other students who are one or more years ahead of them. Others think that first year students should only live with other freshmen. What is your opinion and why? v.1

Some people believe that it is better for first year students to live with other students who are one or more years ahead of them. Others think that first year students should only live with other freshmen. What is your opinion and why? v. 1
The rate of law violation is highly proliferating in the society nowadays. Certain individuals are of the opinion that, there should be a designated sanction for all kinds of crime while others believed that, the scenario by which act was committed and the reason behind it should be duly put into consideration while determining the best punishment for this. I, however, believe that, the reason for an act and the situations involved should be specifically examined before the choice of punishment is made. Admittedly, having peculiar crime wages to minor crimes such as fighting in the street without any form of casualties involved will be necessary, as this will help to reduce the rate at which people appear in court for verdict because this type of issue can be resolved within the police custody. Nevertheless, having a fixed punishment for all kinds of crimes will make it monotonous and becomes less valued. For instance, capital punishment such as murder will be rampart in the society because the sanction relating to this act has been revealed. In contrast, considering situations and the motivation to crime commission will help to provide maximum justice to the victim involved and the alleged will be duly punished. For example, in the case of self defence, the victim will probably be justified if the scenario of action was reviewed. The consequences of this is that, it will ensure a reflective thinking before a law is violated. In conclusion, while minor crimes have specific penalty identified with them, capital punishment should vary based on the motive by which such act was committed.
The rate of law violation is
highly
proliferating in the society nowadays. Certain individuals are of the opinion that, there should be a designated sanction for all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
while others believed that, the scenario by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
was committed
and the reason behind it should be
duly
put into consideration while determining the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for this. I,
however
, believe that, the reason for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
and the situations involved should be
specifically
examined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is made
.

Admittedly
, having peculiar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
wages to minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as fighting in the street without any form of casualties involved will be necessary, as this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate at which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
appear in court for verdict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this type of issue can
be resolved
within the police custody.
Nevertheless
, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it monotonous and becomes less valued.
For instance
, capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
such as murder will be rampart in the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the sanction relating to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
has
been revealed
.

In contrast
, considering situations and the motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
commission will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to provide maximum justice to the victim involved and the alleged will be
duly
punished.
For example
, in the case of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self defence
, the victim will
probably
be justified
if the scenario of action
was reviewed
. The consequences of this is that, it will ensure a reflective thinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a law
is violated
.

In conclusion
, while minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
have specific penalty identified with them, capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should vary based on the motive by which such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
was committed
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better for first year students to live with other students who are one or more years ahead of them. Others think that first year students should only live with other freshmen. What is your opinion and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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