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Some students think that freshmen should live inter own dormitory building. Other students think that freshmen should share the same dormitory building with students who are from the second, third and forth grade. What is your opinion? Use specific detail v.1

Some students think that freshmen should live inter own dormitory building. Other students think that freshmen should share the same dormitory building with students who are from the second, third and forth grade. What is your opinion? Use specific detail v. 1
In today’s globalized world, multinational companies have significant effects on people’s life. It is suggested that people are negatively affected by these companies and their products. This essay will examine why this trend has a crucial importance in people’s life quality. Generally speaking, there is a wide range of reasons why people believe that multinational corporations offer benefits to the consumers. Perhaps the main reason in favour of this trend is that these companies are spending considerably large amount of money on research and development studies. They also support individual researchers and scientists by funding their studies. As a result, the world has been experiencing extraordinary technological developments. This is why these companies have an undeniable role to play in human life and its quality. Secondly, they offer a significantly wider range of product options to the consumers. Unlike the past, consumers have a lot of options to purchase a product, such as smart phones, computers, household appliances. For example, If a consumer wants to buy a smart phone, it is highly likely that they will need to do more research on options to buy a product, and they may find the best price and more functional products because of the competitiveness in the market, which is provided by these companies. Despite these arguments, there is also a strong argument for the idea that these companies are becoming increasingly powerful and they are managing the countries rather than the governments. As a result, they may manipulate the prices of products and assets. For example, oil industry accounts for the considerably higher proportion of the world economy. If oil companies reduce the oil production, the prices will increase, which is not beneficial to people. In conclusion, this is a topic which has undeniable effects on the people’s life and countries. I am of the opinion that multinational companies are making our life better by providing options and solutions to us.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s globalized world, multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have significant effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
is suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This essay will examine why this trend has a crucial importance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
quality.

Generally
speaking, there is a wide range of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that multinational corporations offer benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
. Perhaps the main reason in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this trend is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are spending
considerably
large amount of money on research and development studies. They
also
support individual researchers and scientists by funding their studies.
As a result
, the world has been experiencing extraordinary technological developments. This is why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have an undeniable role to play in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and its quality.
Secondly
, they offer a
significantly
wider range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
. Unlike the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, such as smart phones, computers, household appliances.
For example
, If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a smart phone, it is
highly
likely that they will need to do more research on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, and they may find the best price and more functional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the competitiveness in the market, which
is provided
by these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Despite these arguments, there is
also
a strong argument for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are becoming
increasingly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
powerful and
they are managing the countries
rather
than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
As a result
, they may manipulate the prices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and assets.
For example
, oil industry accounts for the
considerably
higher proportion of the world economy. If oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the oil production, the prices will increase, which is not beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which has undeniable effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and countries. I am of the opinion that multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are making our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
better by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
and solutions to us.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some students think that freshmen should live inter own dormitory building. Other students think that freshmen should share the same dormitory building with students who are from the second, third and forth grade. What is your opinion? Use specific detail v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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