Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

As more and more students enter universities, academic qualifications are becoming devalued. To get ahead in many professions, more than one degree is now required and in future it is likely that people will take a number of degree courses before even sta v.1

As more and more students enter universities, academic qualifications are becoming devalued. To get ahead in many professions, more than one degree is now required and in future it is likely that people will take a number of degree courses before even sta v. 1
In today's world, there are many famous people, coming from different areas like sport, music cinema and television. Some believe that being a celebrity can bring more advantages than disadvantages, others believe the opposite. In this essay, I will discuss the positive and the negative aspects of being famous. Firstly, being a celebrity means that you have succeeded in your field, whatever it is. Consequently, being famous usually means being also rich. Money absolutely don't make a person necessarily happy, but is indubitable that they can make a person's life easier in several ways. Thanks to them, for example, celebrities can travel and see places that "normal people" difficulty could see, or in general they can satisfy all these pleasures that we cannot. Furthermore, they are often invited to some of these places, like hotels and resorts, despite the money they have. These are only some of the advantages of being famous and rich. At the same time, there are also some serious disadvantages to being a celebrity. One of the main negative aspects is that it is more difficult to have some privacy. More famous you are, and more photographers and paparazzi will follow you in your everyday life, making it more difficult to do the easiest things like going to the supermarket. People will often stop you in the streets asking for a photo or an autograph. All these things can make almost impossible to find a moment or a place for ourselves, except for home. Finally, I believe that being famous can surely bring some advantages, especially in term of money, but I don't think that a certain amount of money can make us happier than our personal freedom. The little pleasures in our everyday life are something to valuable to be exchanged with money and popularity.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, coming from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas like sport, music cinema and television.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
can bring more advantages than disadvantages, others believe the opposite. In this essay, I will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.

Firstly
, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
means that you have succeeded in your field, whatever it is.
Consequently
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
usually
means being
also
rich.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
absolutely
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a person
necessarily
happy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is indubitable that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a person's life easier in several ways. Thanks to them,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can travel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
places that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
difficulty could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, or
in general
they can satisfy all these pleasures that we cannot.
Furthermore
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
invited to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these places, like hotels and resorts, despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they have. These are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
advantages of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
and rich.

At the same time, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious disadvantages to being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
. One of the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects is that it is more difficult to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
privacy. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
you are, and more photographers and paparazzi will follow you in your everyday life, making it more difficult to do the easiest things like going to the supermarket.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
you in the streets asking for a photo or an autograph. All these things can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
almost impossible to find a moment or a place for ourselves,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
home.

Finally
, I believe that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
can
surely
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages,
especially
in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us happier than our personal freedom. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
pleasures in our everyday life are something to valuable to
be exchanged
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and popularity.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay As more and more students enter universities, academic qualifications are becoming devalued. To get ahead in many professions, more than one degree is now required and in future it is likely that people will take a number of degree courses before even sta v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts