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Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.9

Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. v. 9
In every era, people have different hobbies around the globe. As per the recent research, it has been identified that nowadays people have unique hobbies instead of conventional book reading or gardening. There are two dimensions of this topic; one group of people is of the view that hobby should be challenging; whereas other group asserts the opposite aspect that it is upon one’s will completely. I agree to the phenomenon that hobbies should be difficult and different in nature. I shall elaborate my stance with valid arguments and examples in the following paragraphs. To begin with, first and foremost reason for an interest to be difficult is recognition through interest. One’s interest should be such that can benefit in practical life. For instance, I personally know a guy who likes to explore different avenues over the internet. He explored Microsoft Excel tool and did complete research on its functionality and usage. He achieved high level expertise against the tool out of his interest and eventually got a well reputed job in a multinational company based on his expertise. Thus, one’s hobby should be useful for career progression as well. To elucidate my stance further, hobby should be tough in order to achieve sense of accomplishment while one’s enjoy doing it. For instance, if anyone has interest in bungee jumping or scuba diving; this cannot be enjoyed without proper training. Once fully trained, when attempted, one would feel sense of achievement. This accomplishment cannot be achieved through regular or common hobbies such as listening to music or reading. To summarize the aforementioned argument, I opine that people should opt-in for tough interests in order to achieve productive results instead of only enjoying spare time. In future, people will adapt complex hobbies so that positive outcomes could be attained while enjoying the activity.
In every era,
people
have
different
hobbies
around the globe. As per the recent research, it has
been identified
that nowadays
people
have unique
hobbies
instead
of conventional book reading or gardening. There are two dimensions of this topic; one group of
people
is of the view that
hobby
should be challenging; whereas other group asserts the opposite aspect that it is upon one’s will completely. I
agree
to the phenomenon that
hobbies
should be difficult and
different
in nature. I shall elaborate my stance with valid arguments and examples in the following paragraphs.

To
begin
with,
first
and foremost reason for an
interest
to be difficult is recognition through
interest
. One’s
interest
should be such that can benefit in practical life.
For instance
, I
personally
know a guy who likes to explore
different
avenues over the internet. He explored Microsoft Excel tool and did complete research on its functionality and usage. He achieved high level expertise against the tool out of his
interest
and
eventually
got
a well reputed job in a multinational
company
based on his expertise.
Thus
, one’s
hobby
should be useful for career progression
as well
.

To elucidate my stance
further
,
hobby
should be tough in order to achieve sense of accomplishment while
one’s
enjoy doing it.
For instance
, if anyone has
interest
in bungee jumping or scuba diving; this cannot
be enjoyed
without proper training. Once
fully
trained, when attempted, one would feel sense of achievement. This accomplishment cannot
be achieved
through regular or common
hobbies
such as listening to music or reading.

To summarize
the aforementioned argument, I opine that
people
should opt-in for tough
interests
in order to achieve productive results
instead
of
only
enjoying spare time.
In future
,
people
will adapt complex
hobbies
so
that
positive
outcomes could
be attained
while enjoying the activity.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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