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16-Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

16-Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. v. 1
Humans almost spend 80% of their adult time working in the offices, as it constitutes a major proportion of our life, we need to have enthusiasm to do the work. If we were unable to show these qualities, then it will be a hardship. I will discuss the factors that constitute it and solutions for the others in the latter paragraph. To begin with, real happiness in a person comes when he is really interested in the job he does. The zeal of it, would be much higher and the productivity will be at its peak. For example, an employee excited in writing programs would excel as a software engineer, as he finds the real pleasure in that work. Furthermore, it also constitutes whether he is able to fulfil his dreams and goals. It might be purchasing his loved car or a spacious apartment. On the Contrary, for unsatisfied people the best suggestion is to quit his path and move towards his goal. This is because, one’s happiness will always depend on his actions, in the process of achieving his vision only he can find the sweetness in it. Take the case of MS. Dhoni, who discontinued as a Railway Ticket collector, and ran towards his destination, and became the evergreen captain of the Indian Cricket Team. A person would be more relaxed when he tried to achieve his desired job. To conclude, I would like to say that a person should always search for ways which bring energy and relaxation in their life, it may take some time but we should continue in making them possible.
Humans almost spend 80% of their adult time working in the offices, as it constitutes a major proportion of our life, we need to have enthusiasm to do the work. If we were unable to
show
these qualities, then it will be a hardship. I will discuss the factors that constitute it and solutions for the others in the latter paragraph.

To
begin
with, real happiness in a person
comes
when he is
really
interested in the job he does. The zeal of it, would be much higher and the productivity will be at its peak.
For example
, an employee excited in writing programs would excel as a software engineer, as he finds the real pleasure in that work.
Furthermore
, it
also
constitutes whether he is able to fulfil his dreams and goals. It might be purchasing his
loved
car or a spacious apartment.

On the Contrary
, for unsatisfied
people
the best suggestion is to quit his path and
move
towards his goal. This is
because
, one’s happiness will always depend on his actions, in the process of achieving his vision
only
he can find the sweetness in it. Take the case of MS.
Dhoni
, who discontinued as a Railway Ticket collector, and ran towards his destination, and became the evergreen captain of the Indian Cricket Team. A person would be more relaxed when he tried to achieve his desired job.

To conclude
, I would like to say that a person should always search for ways which bring energy and relaxation in their life, it may take
some
time
but
we should continue in making them possible.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 16-Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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