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Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60 it causes problems Do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60 it causes problems v. 2
Working at any age of life is always good but there are many people who believe that if individuals will be allowed to work after the age of 60 will create trouble. I completely agree with the statement and there are various reasons to support. Firstly, if the people will work after 60, there will be less scope of the new workforce to avail the new opportunities. Unemployment will curb the market and there will be a rage among candidates. Secondly, If there will be no retirements, the possibilities of the promotion will also be hindered. The growth of the employees might get delay provided that there is a new place in the organization. New employees will give new direction and ideas to the country. If people will be allowed to work after the retirement age, the health may not support and this could lead to severe health issues. Researches have shown and have been proved that after the age of 60, health and the memory of the person starts deteriorating. However, this is also certain that if humans keep on working, they keep themselves engaged and are not trapped on isolation. Although many organizations believe that an experienced person can take more wise decisions compared to a new joiner. The people will remain healthy as work will make them happy and involved. To capitulate, we cannot deny the fact that the age of 60 has been set after many surveys and researches on any human being working capacity. The government should also participate in laying strict measures for the individuals working after the age of 60.
Working
at any
age
of life is always
good
but
there are
many
people
who believe that if individuals will be
allowed
to
work
after the
age
of 60 will create trouble. I completely
agree
with the statement and there are various reasons to support.

Firstly
, if the
people
will
work
after 60, there will be less scope of the
new
workforce to avail the
new
opportunities. Unemployment will curb the market and there will be a rage among candidates.
Secondly
, If there will be no retirements, the possibilities of the promotion will
also
be hindered
. The growth of the employees might
get
delay provided that there is a
new
place in the organization.
New
employees will give
new
direction and
ideas
to the country. If
people
will be
allowed
to
work
after the retirement
age
, the health may not support and this could lead to severe health issues. Researches have shown and have
been proved
that after the
age
of 60, health and the memory of the person
starts
deteriorating.

However
, this is
also
certain that if humans
keep
on
working
, they
keep
themselves engaged and are not trapped on isolation.
Although
many
organizations believe that an experienced person can take more wise decisions compared to a
new
joiner. The
people
will remain healthy as
work
will
make
them happy and involved.

To capitulate, we cannot deny the fact that the
age
of 60 has
been set
after
many
surveys and researches on any human being
working
capacity. The
government
should
also
participate in laying strict measures for the individuals
working
after the
age
of 60.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60 it causes problems v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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