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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best things in life do not cost money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.448

The best things in life do not cost money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 448
In the world of globalization and modernization, money is everything. You need money for every purpose. Its undeniable fact, that time is money. Some people would agree with the statement that, the best things in life do not cost money. However, I firmly disagree with that because of following reasons. First, money is an integral part of your family’s happiness. You say that nothing is better than your wife’s love and your kids smile; however, those are ultimately related to money. Take myself as an example; I have two kids and parents. They all live with us. Nowadays, kids want different toys, surprise gifts, huge electronic devices like I pad etc. Kids always imitate their friends and neighbors. If you do not have enough money to fulfill their demand, they will be sad. If they will be unhappy, then you too. Moreover, your love understand your condition, but he/ she also expects some surprise gifts, great getaways, spending alone time. If you want to maintain your love in relationship, you have to think about their wish and nothing can be earned without money. Additionally, you also want some money for your own sake like a luxurious car, a huge dream house with swimming pool. Extra expenses like parent’s treatment, medicines, their caretaker etc. Overall, happiness is related to money directly or indirectly. Second, money also has great impact on our career. In order to achieve great job in a multinational company, you need to put some money and effort since childhood. For instance, when I was a kid my dream was to be a Pharmacist in my future. For that I needed to attend higher school, graduation, higher studies and that all required me to use lots of money. More money for tuition, project work, field trips, dorm etc. In order to achieve your dream job you need to attend different classes like personality development etc. If you do not have money, you will not do it. If you build good career that will help you to bring your internal happiness, you will feel prestige in the society. You can see, career is also related to money. Third, peace is connected to money. In order to get peace your life, you have to pay money. For instance, two months ago, I went to the Halekala National Park to relax and enjoy the weather. When reached there, I was looking for nature and good environment. I had to pay money to enter in to the park. If you do not pay, you won’t get admission in the park. Now a days, nature and nice location also want money from you. To wrap up all, I totally disagree that the best thing in life do not cost money as everything in our life is connected to money like love, career, fun etc.
In the world of globalization and modernization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is everything. You need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for every purpose. Its undeniable fact, that time is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that, the best things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
do not cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
However
, I
firmly
disagree with that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of following reasons.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an integral part of your family’s happiness. You say that nothing is better than your wife’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
smile;
however
, those are
ultimately
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Take myself as an example; I have two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and parents. They all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with us. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
toys, surprise gifts, huge electronic devices like I pad etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
always imitate their friends and neighbors. If you do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to fulfill their demand, they will be sad. If they will be unhappy, then you too.
Moreover
, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
understand your condition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he/ she
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
surprise gifts, great getaways, spending alone time. If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to maintain your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
in relationship, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their wish and nothing can
be earned
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Additionally
, you
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sake like a luxurious car, a huge dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with swimming pool. Extra expenses like parent’s treatment, medicines, their caretaker etc.
Overall
, happiness
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
directly
or
indirectly
.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
also
has great impact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. In order to achieve great job in a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, you need to put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and effort since childhood.
For instance
, when I was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
my dream was to be a Pharmacist in my future. For that I needed to attend higher school, graduation, higher studies and that all required me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for tuition, project work, field trips, dorm etc. In order to achieve your dream job you need to attend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
classes like personality development etc. If you do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, you will not do it. If you build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to bring your internal happiness, you will feel prestige in the society. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is
also
related to money.

Third, peace
is connected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
peace your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, two months ago, I went to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Halekala
National Park to relax and enjoy the weather. When reached there, I was looking for nature and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment. I had to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to enter in to the park. If you do not pay, you won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in the park.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
, nature and nice location
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from you.

To wrap up all, I
totally
disagree that the best thing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
do not cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as everything in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is connected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, fun etc.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The best things in life do not cost money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 448

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
470 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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