Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. v.10

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. v. 10
Once in a while, we have to have enjoyment through things we always like to do to escape from our stressful work, so we do have a certain hobby. However, these habitual things should not be extreme for us to enjoy, because as long as we love what we do and we can afford it, then we will get the pleasure we want to. For one, as long as we have a fondness of what we like to do regularly, we can achieve enjoyment. For instance, my hobby is reading fiction and nonfiction books such as the series novel Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling and the Pretty Little Liars series by Sara Shepard. I really love to read since I was in my preschool age and I do this every weekend or I am not busy at work in the hospital. This is not a very difficult thing to do because I am just sitting on a couch or in my bed while doing this, but I always get the pleasure I wanted. In addition to this, these books are affordable so it more added to our indulgence. For example, there are preloaded books in Burnham Bookwormers bookstore that is located in Baguio City, Philippines, in which we can purchase a second-hand book for only 10 to 20 pesos, an equivalent of half a US dollar. So it is very cheap. Whereas when we engage to extremely hard hobbies such sky-diving, cycling down a cliff or feeding a shark by our hands like others wanted to do, then we need to have a lot of money to be able to do such things, and we cannot enjoy these if we always think how much money we spent for these dangerous hobbies. In conclusion, it is always pleasurable to do activities of our great interest and at the same time economical. It does not need to be hard and risky like some would want it to have fun. So I highly recommend enjoying what you like doing as long as you can manage it economically.
Once in a while, we
have to
have enjoyment through things we always like to do to escape from our stressful work,
so
we do have a certain hobby.
However
, these habitual things should not be extreme for us to enjoy,
because
as long as we
love
what we
do and
we can afford it, then we will
get
the pleasure we want to.

For one, as long as we have a fondness of what we like to do
regularly
, we can achieve enjoyment.
For instance
, my hobby is reading fiction and nonfiction
books
such as the series novel Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling and the Pretty
Little
Liars series by Sara Shepard. I
really
love
to read since I was in my preschool age and I do this every
weekend or
I am not busy at work in the hospital. This is not a
very
difficult thing to do
because
I am
just
sitting on a couch or in my bed while doing this,
but
I always
get
the pleasure I wanted.

In addition
to this, these
books
are affordable
so
it more
added
to our indulgence.
For example
, there
are preloaded
books
in
Burnham
Bookwormers
bookstore that
is located
in Baguio City, Philippines, in which we can
purchase
a second-hand
book
for
only
10 to 20 pesos, an equivalent of half a US dollar.
So
it is
very
cheap
. Whereas when we engage to
extremely
hard
hobbies such sky-diving, cycling down a cliff or feeding a shark by our hands like others wanted to do, then we need to have
a lot of
money to be able to do such things, and we cannot enjoy these if we always
think
how much money we spent for these
dangerous
hobbies.

In conclusion
, it is always pleasurable to do activities of our great interest and at the same time economical. It does not need to be
hard
and risky like
some
would want it to have fun.
So
I
highly
recommend enjoying what you like doing as long as you can manage it
economically
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts