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People have different hobbies ranging from reading books to mountain hiking. According to some, hobbies must be difficult to be enjoyable while other oppose the idea. v.2

People have different hobbies ranging from reading books to mountain hiking. According to some, hobbies must be difficult to be enjoyable while other oppose the idea. v. 2
In general, hobbies are considered to be individual aspects. It varies based on individual interest and the social effects on their views and choices. A hobby can be anything which tends to make someone happy, it is not necessary to be difficult the factor to enjoy. In my view, hobbies do not need to be difficult proportion to enjoy. Let’s discuss few facts in the upcoming paragraphs. Firstly, hobbies are considerably prevailing to be individual choices. It can vary based on each individual’s interest, age group, the social status of the people and the locality where they live. Pupils, who fall in middle age group, will be more involved in sports activities than the older age peoples. Most of the adults will be involved in adventurous activities which can be their choice of hobby. They will drive rash and go to high speed just to thrill. Perhaps for some, their interest will be in indoor games like the chess, carom and badminton. Other people have the habit of watching television, playing computer games, surfing the internet etc. Based on the level of interest and the passionate about the choice of hobby, eventually, it will reward happiness. Moreover, people sitting at home and watching television or playing computer games enjoy more than others. With my personal experience, I noticed people tend to be more enjoyable while gossiping about others and chatting with friends in work or studies. They are not involved in mental or physical strain. The fact to enjoy is believed to be within ourselves, it does not have to be difficult enough to enjoy. In addition to the above statement, I can see the consequence of earlier behaviours. It is healthy to be happy, but it should not affect others emotions and feelings. Nowadays, people are easily hurting their own relation's and enjoying. These behaviours should not be pursued. In conclusion, happiness, excitement and the level of enjoyment are not based on the difficulty level of an activity. It depends on individual character and choice of hobbies being chosen. I strongly recommend the hobby can be anything which people are passionate about and the level of risk should be minimal.
In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are considered
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
aspects. It varies based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and the social effects on their views and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
can be anything which tends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
someone happy, it is not necessary to be difficult the factor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
do not need to be difficult proportion to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s discuss few facts in the upcoming paragraphs.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are
considerably
prevailing to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. It can vary based on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
, age group, the social status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the locality where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Pupils, who fall in middle age group, will be more involved in sports activities than the older age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
. Most of the adults will
be involved
in adventurous activities which can be their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
. They will drive rash and go to high speed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to thrill. Perhaps for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
will be in indoor games like the chess, carom and badminton.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the habit of watching television, playing computer games, surfing the internet etc.

Based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and the passionate about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
,
eventually
, it will reward happiness.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sitting at home and watching television or playing computer games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
more than others. With my personal experience, I noticed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to be more enjoyable while gossiping about others and chatting with friends in work or studies. They are not involved in mental or physical strain. The fact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
is believed
to be within ourselves, it does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to enjoy.

In addition
to the above statement, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the consequence of earlier
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. It is healthy to be happy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not affect others emotions and feelings. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
hurting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
relation's and enjoying. These
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
should not
be pursued
.

In conclusion
, happiness, excitement and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of enjoyment are not based on the difficulty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of an activity. It depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
character and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
being chosen
. I
strongly
recommend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
can be anything which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are passionate about and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
should be minimal.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay People have different hobbies ranging from reading books to mountain hiking. According to some, hobbies must be difficult to be enjoyable while other oppose the idea. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
361 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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