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People have different hobbies ranging from reading books to mountain hiking. According to some, hobbies must be difficult to be enjoyable while other oppose the idea. v.1

People have different hobbies ranging from reading books to mountain hiking. According to some, hobbies must be difficult to be enjoyable while other oppose the idea. v. 1
Many people contend that leisure activities should be extra challenging to be more fun. While this may provoke a person to reach his full potential, I disagree with this notion. Pastime, which should prioritise safety, is created not only for competition but also to observe camaraderie. Nonetheless, people who engage themselves to their specific hobbies should always maintain safety in what they do while promoting team spirit. For an instance, playing a specific sport which involves physical contact, like basketball, should keep players injury-free until the end of the game. Hence, rules are set prior each game to avoid causing harm to their opponents, yet enjoyable still. A case in point is my experience in playing soccer when in high school. When my coach laid the plan, the goal was to win the game; additionally, precautions are observed beforehand. The game was enjoyed by both the teams in play and the audience. Another sound reason is that leisure activities are already enjoyable in their authentic form without the need to be recreated. To illustrate, activities like movie watching, beach surfing, or even playing cards are commonly preferred by many people to do in their free time. Nevertheless, changing these is unnecessary, lest its purpose is no longer highlighted. It is entirely true because hobbies provide immeasurable and worthwhile entertainment out of a person's routinely customised schedule. This refreshes my memory when all I had to think of, when at a beach, is to enjoy its scenery. Every moment spent with someone special, even in its most undemanding nature, is worth treasuring a lifetime. Overall, I think hobbies, in their simplest forms, always provide priceless satisfaction, despite others who argued that they should be more challenging. Furthermore, someone does not need to modify a certain task in order to enjoy it, rather the company of others makes everything more valuable.
Many
people
contend that leisure activities should be extra challenging to be more fun. While this may provoke a person to reach his full potential, I disagree with this notion.

Pastime, which should
prioritise
safety,
is created
not
only
for competition
but
also
to observe camaraderie. Nonetheless,
people
who engage themselves to their specific hobbies should always maintain safety in what they do while promoting team spirit. For an instance, playing a specific sport which involves physical contact, like basketball, should
keep
players injury-free until the
end
of the game.
Hence
,
rules
are set
prior each game to avoid causing harm to their opponents,
yet
enjoyable
still
. A case in point is my experience in playing soccer when in high school. When my coach laid the plan, the goal was to win the game;
additionally
, precautions
are observed
beforehand. The game
was enjoyed
by both the teams in play and the audience.

Another sound reason is that leisure activities are already enjoyable in their authentic form without the need to
be recreated
. To illustrate, activities like movie watching, beach surfing, or even playing cards are
commonly
preferred by
many
people
to do in their free time.
Nevertheless
, changing
these is
unnecessary, lest its purpose is no longer highlighted. It is
entirely
true
because
hobbies provide immeasurable and worthwhile entertainment out of a person's
routinely
customised
schedule. This refreshes my memory when all I had to
think
of, when at a beach, is to enjoy its scenery. Every moment spent with someone special, even in its most undemanding nature, is worth treasuring a lifetime.

Overall
, I
think
hobbies, in their simplest forms, always provide priceless satisfaction, despite others who argued that they should be more challenging.
Furthermore
, someone does not need to modify a certain task in order to enjoy it,
rather
the
company
of others
makes
everything more valuable.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay People have different hobbies ranging from reading books to mountain hiking. According to some, hobbies must be difficult to be enjoyable while other oppose the idea. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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