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Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree with this opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree with this opinion. v. 3
In this age of miracles, government of any particular nation has responsibilities to provide all possible comforts and services to its masses. Whether government should pay for the healthcare and education or not has sparked a heated debate. In this essay I would like to address my view in for and against of the topic with my opinion According to some proportion of people, government is elected by the local inhabitants for their betterment and the bright future of their kids. Thence, it is major responsibility of government to provide lucrative facilities in term of free education and healthcare. Additionally, it is said that, healthy mind lies within the healthy body. Thus, government should attract their masses with tempting offers in order to keep them fit and fine so they may represent their nation in better way. Others have conflicting views. They strongly oppose the idea of providing free healthcare and education. According to them, government has humungous responsibility to maintain the balance between all facilities for their people and consider this as wastage of money. What is more, They believe that, main focus of government should be boosting the economy, to be counted among the best economy nation From my notion, as we aware that not only health and education but their are lakhs of other issues to be focused for the administration. I believe only brilliant students and super athlete ought to be provided by the facilities of free service so they may feel honoured for the efforts which they may have put to portray and make their nation proud To recapitulate, since we cant push health and education on back seat. But to be aware of other big duties of government, only superior in the business should attain benefits of free services
In this age of miracles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of any particular nation has responsibilities to provide all possible comforts and services to its masses. Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay for the healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or not has sparked a heated debate. In this essay I would like to address my view in for and against of the topic with my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
opinion


According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is elected
by the local inhabitants for their betterment and the bright future of their kids. Thence, it is major responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to provide lucrative facilities in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and healthcare.
Additionally
, it
is said
that, healthy mind lies within the healthy body.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should attract their masses with tempting offers in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fit and fine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they may represent their nation in better way. Others have conflicting views.

They
strongly
oppose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. According to them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has humungous responsibility to maintain the balance between all facilities for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and consider this as wastage of money.
What is more
, They believe that, main focus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be boosting the economy, to
be counted
among the best economy
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
nation


From my notion, as
It seems that a verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here. Please verify.
we aware
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "there"?
their
are lakhs of other issues to
be focused
for the administration. I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brilliant students and super athlete ought to
be provided
by the facilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
service
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they may feel
Possible spelling mistake. 'honoured' is British English.
honoured
for the efforts which they may have put to portray and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their nation
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
proud


To recapitulate, since we
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
push health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
on back seat.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to be aware of other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
duties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
superior in the business should attain benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
services
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree with this opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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