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many countries spend too much money on training of a few individuals for international sports competition. Some people believe that government should spend more in ordinary people instead. Do you agree r disagree. give your opinion and example v.2

many countries spend too much money on training of a few individuals for international sports competition. Some people believe that government should spend more in ordinary people instead. Do you agree r disagree. give your opinion and example v. 2
International sporting event has become major way to bring any country in limelight. countries have been tend to spend money in bulk on few best players in order to perform out of skin in these international sporting events. Whether government should spend all his sporting quota money on few players or they should give chance to ordinary people as well has sparked a heated debate. Here, i would like to swayed by the given statement There are multifarious points to shore up my view. First and foremost, every individual has similar worth of their votes in any nation. Therefor, similar importance ought to be given while selecting players for international sporting events. In addition, some ordinary people have fascinating sporting skills which can be utilized by a nation by giving them fair selection. For instance, the great Indian cricketer Sachin tendulkar belonged to a normal family but made some mind blowing records. Further emphasizing on my point of views, some countries spend way too much on their few special players but still end up with empty palms when it comes to some big competitions. To be specific, England cricket team is inventor of the spectacular game called cricket but still they have not been lucky enough to bag any world cup trophy. It might hashappened due to unfair selection of players In my notion, crores of amazingly talented players are forced to sit at home doing nothing due to unfair selection of players by their nation. I strongly believe that instead of sticking to same players, government or sporting authority should step up and give chances to talented ordinary people too so that they might change their and nations fortunate in big sporting events To recapitulate, any sport is all about specific skills not the quotas. Players ought to be selected on behalf of their performance not on account of which family they belong to
International sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
has become major way to bring any country in limelight.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
countries
have been
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to spend money in bulk on few best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in order to perform out of skin in these international sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend all his sporting quota money on few
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
players or
they should give chance to ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
has sparked a heated debate. Here,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to swayed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement

There are multifarious points to shore up my view.
First
and foremost, every individual has similar worth of their votes in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. Therefor, similar importance ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
while selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
for international sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have fascinating sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which can
be utilized
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
by giving them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
selection.
For instance
, the great Indian cricketer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
tendulkar
belonged to a normal family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
mind blowing
records.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
emphasizing on my point of views,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries spend way too much on their few special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with empty palms when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
competitions. To be specific, England cricket team is inventor of the spectacular game called cricket
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
they have not been lucky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to bag any world cup trophy. It might
Possible spelling mistake found.
hashappened
due to unfair selection of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
players


In my notion, crores of
amazingly
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are forced
to sit at home doing nothing due to unfair selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. I
strongly
believe that
instead
of sticking to same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or sporting authority should step up and give chances to talented ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
fortunate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
sporting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
events


To recapitulate, any sport is all about specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
not the quotas.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Players
ought to
be selected
on behalf of their performance not on account of which family they belong
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay many countries spend too much money on training of a few individuals for international sports competition. Some people believe that government should spend more in ordinary people instead. Do you agree r disagree. give your opinion and example v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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